“Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not.”……Adrian Monk
Like you, we’ve been watching mysteries and crime stories on television and movies and reading books for decades. This has made us rather, we believe, perspicacious. Ever helpful, we have compiled a viewing and reading aid calling to your attention some of the consistencies and repetitions you will find as you sit down to watch a murder/crime show/movie. Don’t worry. These regularities and tropes will still be there for decades (centuries?) to come.
Mystery stories have been with us for quite a while. In 408 B.C. Greek playwright Euripides composedOrestes about matricide. It contains some of the kernels of what would later be considered typical mystery fiction. During the late 700s B.C., at least one of the tales in the “One Thousand and One Nights/Arabian Nights” involves early examples of typical mystery images. In “The Tales of the Three Apples”, the dismembered body of a young woman is found in a trunk floating in the Tigris River. The local Caliph orders his vizier to solve the crime and find the murderer within three days or face execution himself.
It is generally considered that Edgar Allan Poe’s story, "The Murders in the Rue Morgue," which first appeared in Graham’s Lady’s and Gentleman’s Magazine in1841, was the first mystery story. In it, we were introduced to detective, M C. Auguste Dupin. Dupin used ratiocination, i.e, cool, logical reasoning that let him outwit both criminals and the police. Wilkie Collins published The Woman in White (1859), which is considered the first mystery novel and then Collins published the first detective novel, The Moonstone, in 1868. This one featured several elements that you see carry on to this day and probably beyond. They were red herrings, (a fact, idea, or subject that takes people’s attention away from the central point being considered), false alibis and of course, a climactic scene. Because there were no cars, Collins did not include car chases. But we’ve more than made up for it with thousands of them since Steve McQueen in Bullitt ,1968, which was probably the first famous car chase. The Dead Letter, published in 1866 by Beadle’s Monthly Magazine, is considered to be the first detective story by a woman. The author, Seeley Regester, is a pen name for author Metta Victoria Fuller Victor.
As for the word, whodunit. Who dunit? Donald Gordon dunit. In 1930, the term “Whodunit” was officially coined. In his review of the detective novel “Half-Mast Murder”, News of Books reviewer Gordon used the term “Whodunit” to describe the story.
Barney Blake, Police Reporter was aired on NBC from April 22, 1948, to July 8, 1948, and it is cited as the first crime drama to air on television. The program was canceled after thirteen weeks by its sponsor, the American Tobacco Company. It starred Gene O’Donnell and Judy Parrish. O’Donnell previously starred in the memorable epic film, Freckles Comes Home in 1942. Parrish starred in a Studio One TVdrama as Amy Bristol, Anesthesiologist. Unfortunately, it put people to sleep. However, according to the Official Guinness Records, Telecrime, on BBC, from 1938–39 and later known as Telecrimes in 1946 seems to have come first. Telecrimes made the audience watch (see definitions below), as it challenged TV viewers to unravel crimes before the police. It featured the first TV police detective, Inspector Holt, played by J.B Rowe, who previously starred in silent movies, most notably, The Vulture's Prey in 1922.
Crime pays. There have been over 1,600 crime dramas, comedies and dramadies with more added each year, ranging from A – Adam 12 to Z – Z Cars (UK). It is highly likely that at some time you have watched a crime show on television or the cinema. All are derivative. Many are spinoffs and still more are spinoffs of spinoffs. Law and Order may continue to spin off for centuries and outlast cockroaches and Keith Richards.
We also considered legal dramas/comedies/dramadies shows which sprouted from a paltry 5 during the 1950s, (good old Perry Mason), to 63 in the 2010s and 35 so far in the 2020s.
As you have watched one or more or many of them you may have noticed that there is a plethora of themes and scenes that are reused over and over and over and over. It’s déjà vu all over again according to the noted philosopher, Yogi Berra.
If there is a crime, there must be a the crime solver. Most races and creeds are now covered. We have men and women police detectives, military detectives, small town policemen, forest rangers, Mounties, and oodles of amateur investigators. Let’s call the latter the “Miss Marple Syndrome” thanks to Agatha Christie and her classic nosy sleuth, Miss (Jane) Marple. “Miss Marple is a white-haired old lady with a gentle, appealing manner”, Murder at the Vicarage.* And so now we have bakers, cooks, farmers, antique store owners, bookstore, artists, craft enthusiasts, wedding planners, teachers, veterinarians, priests, nuns, and there are even dead detectives who come back as spirits to guide crime solving amateurs. Cary Grant and Constance Bennett as ghosts in Topper, 1937 were the first deceased crime solvers. One show featured the star singer of the cruise ship unveiling the culprit. It was so bad it didn’t even qualify as a Hallmark Mystery. Speaking of the fluffier side, there is a large niche of amateur crime solvers on Hallmark Mysteries but more about that later. Alas, we note, the P.I or private detective, once so popular, seems to be fading from both large and small screens. However, they are still popular in books.
Viewing vs. Watching vs. Noticing. What Is the Difference?
As verbs, they indicate seeing something or someone with your eyes. However, 'watching' something takes longer. When we 'watch' something, we pay attention to it, but 'viewing' takes less time. You do not pay that much attention to something when you 'view' it. You may view television commercials but if you watch and listen to commercials on television, I suggest you seek counseling. Then there is the word “notice”. As a noun it is the fact of observing or paying attention to something. As a verb it is become aware of in case you’ve noticed.
And so, “the game is afoot”…….Sherlock Holmes
When You Watch, You’ll Notice. All the suspects gathered together in one room or space for the dramatic and climatic unveiling of the murderer. The detector will insinuate or point at one or two suspicious people (red herrings) before the grand unveiling.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice The all knowing and often mysterious entity known as “The Lab”. “Get that back to the lab” ….said the detective holding a human nose. Depending on plot, the “Lab” can be backed up or supply immediate answers. Sometimes we get to go to the lab. That’s always exciting. Will the deceased be on a table or pulled out of a drawer? Under a sheet?
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Another entity is “Forensics”. Usually, forensics will forensic before things are sent to The Lab. Weather can come into play here. Rain that either just occurred or will shortly can wreak havoc on forensics. Some shows, like the CSIs are built around forensics, the gorier the better. The quest for Gun Shot Residue, or GSR we cognoscenti call it, is essential.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Someone, somehow, messes up the crime scene. Often at a particularly gruesome crime scene, someone will vomit. Hurling can also occur at autopsies.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice The “lab” and “forensics” must include reference to rigor mortis or “rigor” as it is known to us, the literati. The life span of maggots and flies on and in the corpse is also essential to establishing time of death
When You Watch, You’ll Notice that the coroner or medical examiner or doctor is always asked about the time of death while at the scene of a crime? They never give one. Usually it is prefaced by “I know you can’t tell me but…….” Then, depending on the relationship with the detectives and how important the M.E character is in the show, the answer will be a snide remark, an official rebuff, or an estimate “sometime during the last decade”. When You Watch, You’ll Notice that coroners or medical examiners are always very busy, “we’re backed up”, as we see several tables containing actors playing dead when the drawer is pulled out, but this victim can go to the front of the line for examination and the report comes in conveniently while the lead actors are sitting at their desks or in the office? “Indications are that he was choked with a frisbee.”
When You Watch, You’ll Notice - TV corpses. What a challenging role it is for the actor portraying a dead body. I’m always on the lookout for a blink or breathing. Do they have that on their resume? Are there specialists in acting dead? “Portrayed dead body on “NCIS?” There are hand models and foot models. Are there dead body actors who specialize lying very still and holding their breath and not blinking? “I can hold my breath and not blink for 60 seconds”. Are breath holding contests part of the auditions? Also, when the body of a woman wearing a dress or skirt is discovered, they always are in a prim and proper pose, knees together to the side, rather than legs splayed while lying on the ground even though there was a violent struggle involving knives or blunt objects or hit and run. Shooting victims also tend to assume these formal poses as do women who are thrown from windows.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice - Funeral directors are usually sleazy. If a funeral is an extended scene, either a body will fall out of the coffin or the wrong body is in the coffin, especially if it is the opening scene.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice If the show opens with a wedding, someone is going to die. In fact, weddings will usually involve a fatality no matter when they occur during the show or movie.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice - Never ever announce that you have changed or will change your will, and you’ll announce it at dinner, or tomorrow or at the family gathering next weekend. You’re toast.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice – Many swimming pools contain bodies. Bathtubs are also dangerous especially if there is an electrical appliance nearby.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice - Deaths at Murder Mystery parties or train rides or ship excursions. Someone will bite the dust. Likewise in a theatrical production, someone will load the gun with real bullets……sometimes substitute a real knife. We’ve seen swords used also. The body count will depend on the size of the cast at the party, train ride or cruise. Lately, Book Clubs have become very hazardous to the health of members.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice We all know the suspect is lying if they move their eyes to the left when speaking because we have been told that by clever detectives, helpful amateurs or ingénues for quite a few years now.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Young people, usually young women, move to NYC or a major city and get killed. Don’t know why they keep doing that.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice The body in the incinerated car, buried in the landslide, or lost at sea is never who the police or investigator thought it was. Someone else was substituted, usually by the murderer. Surprise! Typically, it was some innocent, sometimes a vagrant, or a dug-up corpse. Sometimes it is just a random victim who encounters the villain. The vagrant and the corpse are the most popular though but watch out for the identity switch.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice The magic number $ 10,000 - all bank withdrawals for blackmail or ransom or money laundering or other nefarious motives must be under 10,000 so the IRS will not flag it. We will be reminded during the show by either detectives or villains of that number.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Things people are doing before they are murdered.
Looking up at someone.
Answering the door.
Turning around.
Lying on the beach…..they look up and……….
Exiting or entering an elevator
Underground parking lots are hazardous. Roof parking lots too.
Taking the short cut through the alley.
Taking the short cut through the woods.
Meet you at midnight in the abandoned warehouse or the cemetery? Come alone? Sure, OK.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Things people say to some unknown villain before they meet their doom.
“Oh,, it’s you”
“What do you want?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’ve been waiting for you”
“I told you before……..”
“Hello. Come in”
“Leave me alone”…..
“Do you always carry a butcher knife? Or are you just happy to see me?” We just made that one up.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice The “Don’t Look Back, Someone Might Be Gaining On You Syndrome”. The soon-to-be victim is being pursued by someone, usually a villain, they keep looking back. 90% of the time they will trip and fall, frequently more than once. Running and stumbling through the woods is particularly popular pastime. 90% of the time. this leads to their demise. Sometimes while someone is stumbling along, falling down, getting up, looking back, the villain has gotten in front of them and suddenly appears and requiem in pace. Occasionally, albeit rarely, the pursuer turns out to be a “good guy or girl” who saves the stumbler and then there is lots of heavy breathing and gasping for breath as they embrace while the no longer a victim explains he/she was running through the woods tripping and falling. The saviors invariably say, “I didn’t see anyone.”
When You Watch, You’ll Notice A significant number of dead bodies are discovered by dog walkers and joggers.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Never let a suspect use the bathroom before you take them to the police station. Either they will escape or commit suicide, but they will never come back and announce that they have run out of toilet paper.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Someone is alone in the house or they enter a house. They hear a sound. They say, “is anyone there?” Why? Do they really expect an answer? “Yes, it’s me the neighborhood serial killer”….
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Suspects almost never know that it’s a 2-way mirror at the police station. Dozens of people are back there behind the mirror. They could even be doing the Macarena, but the suspects don’t know they are being watched. They may pace around the room. They may sit head in hands. They may sit in a catatonic fugue state but somehow, they refrain from picking their noses.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice When the suspect is brought into the police station for questioning, the accused and the lawyer are sitting facing the detective(s). At some point, the lawyer nods to client or exchanges whispers as they lean towards each other covering their mouths during interviews with police. Even though they are within two feet of them on the other side of the table, the police cannot hear the whispered exchange. There is head shaking and more whispers until the lawyer says, “We’ll take ‘Man Two’ and 10 years and drop the murder charge”. Often there is a guard at the door just standing there. He/she doesn’t hear anything either. Lately, there has been an epidemic of smug perpetrator/suspects who frustrate the questioners……at first. Then, by the end of the show there is a (weeping) confession.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Police supervisors will walk into a room populated by the show’s heroes/heroines and instruct them to perform a ridiculously long or complicated task. “Get the first names of everyone who visited the hotel in the last 10 years and had Oysters Rockefeller for dinner.” Then they turn around and leave the room. Sometimes it’s reversed and the hero/heroine leave the “Chief/Captain/Lieutenant’s” office after receiving the difficult and complicated marching orders. In British mysteries the higher up is the Chief Constable or Superintendent, they are usually pompous boobs causing one to wonder how they got the job. British police departments in particular are always short of personnel and money due to budget cuts.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Time is on my side. We call it the “Time Piece” All watches on victims are broken and stop at the time of the murder? This also applies to clocks in the room. The occasional sly murderer will fiddle with the time piece to throw the police off because they know the “Time Piece Rule”.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice The “died in their sleep” for elderly or sick people pronouncement is always wrong. Nope! They never die in their sleep. They were smothered with a pillow. The clever medical examiner or detective will invariably discover this because yes, there was petechial hemorrhaging in their eyes. Murder! Thanks to crime shows and movies we are now familiar with petechial hemorrhaging, and we often know to look for it before the police in the show look for it. Subdural hematomas are also popular for blunt force trauma to head. Weapons of choice for the blunt force trauma range from busts, handily sitting on a pedestal, to baseball bats, tire irons, to a large frozen pork chop. The hyoid bone comes into play with strangulation victims.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Crime shows - hero or heroine, visits a prison or goes undercover and a riot occurs and they are trapped in the prison but there are some good criminals who will help them survive. This is a standard episode with police and law programs.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice When someone, even the hero or heroine, receives a phone call or a note indicating “meet me at an address, the park, the pier, the cemetery, and be alone”, they do it. Things do not go well. Kidnappers always warn not to call the police. Someone does. “The drop” of the ransom money goes awry despite the presence of police or heroes hiding in the bushes or watching with binoculars.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice When suspects are tired of answering questions they just get up and leave. “Is that all you have? We’re done here”. The police just look at each in frustration giving the suspect, whom we all hate by now, the last word. Just like in real life. Suspects always get the last word in during questioning sessions until the end when they (often) weepingly confess.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice After a program has been on television for a number of years that actors you’ve seen previously in one role appear in new roles? A villain two years ago is now a witness or vice versa. The show develops a reparatory company. Murder, She Wrote, Perry Mason and British mysteries are prime examples. In British mysteries they will hop from role to role and show to show.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Someone, usually a policeman or detective, is at some time is taking notes writing on small pad. Are they really taking notes? I think not. Dialogue is occurring and the person is scribbling and watching the dialogue at the same time. Wouldn’t you love to see what they wrote? There they are, pad and pencil, listening and making writing motions, often while walking, writing who knows what while the conversation unfolds. Sometimes they hold the pad and don’t write at all, the pen just hovers over the pad as they watch the questioning.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Whenever a witness or suspect is being questioned outside the police station, they’re always very busy and engaged in activities such as cutting flowers, folding shirts, checking lists, drinking, emptying trash, packing a suitcase, picking up things and putting them somewhere else, repairing a car, putting the glasses with the poison residue in the dish washer or putting blood-stained clothes in the washing machine as they answer questions.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice That we all should have invested in Lumenol years ago. Lumenol for the presence of blood is freely sprayed everywhere and on everyone all the time? Have you ever noticed that the villain fails to get that last drop of blood out of the trunk of the car? Joke: Lawyer is visiting the accused. Lawyer: “I have good news and bad news for you”. Accused: “OK, give me the bad news first”. Lawyer: “your blood matches the blood found along with the victims’ on the murder weapon”. Accused: “and what’s the good news?”. Lawyer: “Your cholesterol is down to 140”.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice And, this applies to all movies and television regardless of category, if they actually swallow the food or beverage during an eating and or drinking scene….multiple takes of a scene could be filling… Actors bite into real food during the scenes, but rarely swallow. Since multiple takes are required to get the scene just right, actors spit the food into a bucket between takes. That’s why this viewer watches to see if the bite from the hamburger is swallowed. Same with a beverage. Watch the throat. Also, always observe the beverage levels in the glasses or bottles. Frequently there are different levels for different takes. That is a continuity error. We will discuss that later. While they occasionally put the food in the mouth, they spend most of the time moving the food around the plate with a knife and fork or sometimes, chop sticks. Although cigarettes are still present, no one actually smokes and sometimes there is not even smoke.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Suicides are never ever suicides! This includes hangings, shootings, slitting wrists in the bathtub, throat cutting or pill popping or watching Celebrity Family Feud on a 24-hour loop. Why do the villains even bother? Because the police will usually immediately label it suicide that’s why. We know it’s not suicide even before we discover that the victim was right-handed and was shot with the left hand and there is no gunshot residue. He couldn’t have kicked the chair out from under himself because the rope is too long/short. Or, “it’s a clove-hitch knot. He didn’t know how to tie a clove-hitch knot!”. Cyanide “Almonds! I smell bitter almonds”.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Becoming a popular TV crime trend is one murder, with multiple episodes to solve. Allows more time for the dreaded Soap Opera Subplot. We have the main plot, which is solving a murder or robbery, but not so fast……. Tension, tension, tension and more tension…… detective/sleuth is always dealing with a personal or family drama subplot at the same time. This takes up a substantial part of each episode(s). There is friction among co-workers. Romantic entanglements are required. The old boss leaves and meet the new boss. Friction occurs. There can be the aging parent, the ex-wife’s/husbands’ stepdaughter needs a kidney transplant or the long-lost father/mother/brother/sister/wife/husband/son/daughter/pet gerbil suddenly reappears. Or, an obnoxious teenager is being obnoxious, throwing the private life into chaos and leaking over into the main story. Sassy teenagers and Gen Zers are a popular and very annoying trend. Enough! Please stop! Let’s have more sassy teenage victims in the first episode and be rid of them for the rest of the show I say! Troubled marriages are always good for 15-20 minutes in every episode too. This results in the stars answering the inevitable phone call saying “no, I don’t know why he/she left you” or “I’ll be late for dinner”, or “I can’t come get you out of jail just now”, or “you’ll have to find someone to pick up the kids from school/practice/the Voodoo ceremony”, “no, I don’t know where the Brita filters are”. This occurs while he/she is at the scene of the murder, preparing to storm a building or performing brain surgery. In multiple episodes, single murder shows, there is always tension between the lead characters or at the police station or in the courtroom. Programs with multiple episodes involving just one murder are just wrong and should be avoided, or you can just skip to the final episode. I do.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice The “where’s your warrant?” syndrome. “Not without a warrant.” Usually, the detectives look at each other in frustration as if it never occurred to them to get a warrant, giving the temporary conversational victory to the suspect. But sometimes, if detectives are clever they will say OK, we’ll just contact the media, the IRS, your wife instead….. and the obnoxious clerk, nurse, doctor, accountant, functionary will capitulate. Getting records from the phone company is always problematic.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice That when the raid on the apartment, warehouse, home, deserted building, is conducted the show’s stars - faces grim and determined, - are always up front of the other police, SWAT Team, army platoon, and first into the dangerous situation while holding their guns with two hands pointed downwards while yelling “police!” and then everyone runs into rooms takes turns yelling “clear”. This is frequently accompanied by bongos on the soundtrack. “Clear” is also a favorite medical exclamation when defibrillator paddles are used.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice No matter how carefully the hero, heroine, police, detectives carefully plan their arrest or trap………….something will go wrong. Police in front, police in back, police all around, somehow the suspect manages to climb out of a window (bathroom?), or run down a convenient alley, or climb up to the roof and jump to the next building, or through the park or woods, (they never stumble or fall), or just run across the street. Then they either A – escape, or B – finally be captured after using up 5 minutes or so of plot time while bowling over pedestrians until a tackle occurs. Knocking over fruit carts is popular in urban chases. Sometimes the suspect escapes the trap and commandeers a car and then we have a car chase too because we never get tired of car chases, do we?
When You Watch, You’ll Notice That all animal sounds, particularly the meows of cats are amplified and very loud when cats are in the scene? British mysteries are fond of fox screeches. Usually, the villain in the hoodie is presently outside watching the house while a fox screeches. Have you ever noticed - Computer typing on screen. When the actors typing on computers, we hear the enhanced sound of loud clicking as their fingers dance across the keyboard and Have you ever noticed they are not really typing words? Also, computer searches are faster than any of us have ever conducted. Someone says, “Get me all the information known on people named Quindarius with childhood acne, background on every election in Nebraska between 1920 and 2005 and people with criminal records who have a mole below the left ear” ………fingers swiftly fox-trot across the keyboard, keyboard sounds amplified, and within seconds, voila, there it is on the screen. Just like in real life. Everyone huddles around to look.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Anyone in a hoodie, especially outside a home at night or chasing someone through the woods, or anywhere for that matter, is up to no good.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice In British Mysteries, people and things get “sorted”. Sorted can be straightening out, reprimanded or arrested. British jails are “the Nick”. Criminals can also be “nicked”. Sorted and nicked are very versatile Britishisms.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice When questioned a suspect “went for a walk” or “drove around” at the time of the murder in the absence of an alibi. On one recent show, a suspect claimed to have “driven around “for two hours. Not suspicious at all. Home with spouse or relative is no longer accepted as an alibi.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice That the most annoying, obnoxious suspects, the ones you really hate and want to be the killer, are rarely the murderer?
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Product placement? It is also known as a "plug" or "writing commercials right into a show" or “embedded marketing”. It can be fascinating and is the practice of prominently displaying or talking about a recognizable product in a program, in exchange for some consideration from the manufacturer, usually monetary. Cars and beverages are popular. The camera makes sure we know they are drinking a certain brand or driving a particular make of car. Big money has changed hands, and we are seeing a commercial even though we think we are watching the show that occurs between commercials. Sometimes an entire program is product placement such as Pontiac Trans Am in Knight Rider or the 1969 Dodge Charger in Dukes of Hazzard, or designer shoes in Sex and the City, or Junior Mints in Seinfeld, or Microsoft in Hawaii Five-O (the awful remake, not the Jack Lord original). Mostly it is just the brand name of a product turned towards the camera during a scene. If there is no product placement, i.e. money has not changed hands, the label is turned away from the camera. However, we always know if they are using Apple or Microsoft because we always see the logo on back of the computer.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Security cameras or alarms are always out of order when we need to see a suspect or observe the commission of a crime? Or someone explains “after two months, two weeks, two days, we just record over the old one”. There is never CCTV in the alley where the body was found.
Have you ever noticed That during a multi season run of a show there is always an episode that deals with a massive accident episode, like a chemical spill or a ferry boat crash, a sniper, or a truck pile up or a building collapse, fire or possible death of a main character that causes frantic activity by emergency workers, firefighters, police, and then into the Emergency Room. This occasionally usually means we’ll have a Crossover, a “(very) special event”. Crossovers are programs with multiple stars from multiple shows getting together for multiple hours or episodes to solve the problem.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Cliffhanger endings are popular both for a multi-episode plot or the final episode of a season. Sometimes this backfires for the viewer if the show is cancelled after the cliffhanger ending and we’ll never know if she comes out of the coma or who his father is, or worse, if the male and female crime solvers who flirted through the year will consummate the relationship.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Dozens of extras walking around and chatting and looking very busy and no one hears them while the principal characters are sitting facing each other conversing. This can occur in the squad rooms of the police stations, hospital hallways, laboratories, media offices, restaurants or while walking through a park or down a street. Have you ever seen so many nurses and doctors and clipboards in a hospital? Squad rooms are usually mobbed. No one hears these people. Although chatting, they make no sound. The principal characters begin talking to each other and extras start moving around, standing up, sitting down, walking out of doors, walking in doors. The arrest of prostitutes, mostly attractive and always acting insolently while scantily dressed, in the background as well as other assorted “perps” at police stations seems popular. They could be doing back flips from desk to desk, having gurney races for all the effect it has on principal character exchanges. Also, even though we are privy to the main conversation, evidently no one else in the area can hear it. This is like lawyer/client conversations we’ve already noted.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice The copious amounts of alcohol consumed at all times of the day with apparently no effect of the consumer. Drinking is also a favorite past time while being questioned by the heroine/hero. The amber liquid is usually conveniently located in a decanter, poured and ice or water added while the suspect explains that he went for a walk or was taking a nap or went for a drive while the victim was being poisoned, stabbed, shot, bludgeoned or bored to death.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Continuity errors. The University of Oxford explains that a continuity error is a lapse in the self-consistency of the scene or story being portrayed. Example being cameras or other film equipment caught in reflections. Going way back, we remember in the hilariously bad show Dark Shadows, an entire scene being shot with a boom mike directly over the head of Barnabas Collins. Also, notice objects disappearing and reappearing from the scene or actor's eyelines not matching between shots. Height differences are fun too. Sometimes one character is taller and when the focus is switched, the other character is taller. Note actors using different physical movements from shot to shot. There are also props that move inconsistently. Shadows lengthen or shorten, sunny day to cloudy day and back, or, and we are ever vigilant about this, a drink in a glass that spontaneously empties and replenishes itself over the course of a scene. Probably the most famous continuity error occurred in Game of Thrones during the final season when a stray Starbucks cup (mochaccino mocha oleate Frappuccino decaf latte?) was sitting on a wooden table next to Daenerys Targaryen. Someone had to pay for that one. There were also plastic water bottles near Samwell Tarly’s and Ser Davos’s feet in the final episode.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice When the double for the actor/actress substitutes (stand ins) for the actor? Usually, it’s the back of the head or a distance shot where we see the “stars” getting out of a car and entering a building. We’re always on the lookout for stand ins, especially the stunt people in action scenes. They keep their chins down and heads partially turned. Hats help too.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Scene and mood setting music. Hero or heroine enters a house or sneaks around a corner or runs through the woods and the music is suspenseful. Tinkling sounds at night are popular and are frequently a harbinger of something bad happening. We would like to see the music switched so when the hero/heroine is stealthy sneaking from room to room we hear the Looney Tunes theme or an instrumental version of “76 Trombones” (from the Music Man) during a love scene.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice That it is usually (always?) a woman screaming when discovering a dead body?
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Have you ever noticed that no one ever notices that someone is hiding in the back seat of the car?
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Have you ever noticed that the cast always meets in the same bar or restaurant after work? Apparently, they have no other friends.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice Color coordination in scenes as the set colors and the actors’ costumes or outfits always match the decor. Can be fascinating. This is another instance when I can lose track of the plot. There is usually one dominant color. An actor will be wearing the color. Flowers enhance. Furniture too.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice That minor roles in year one of a program will grow from episode to episode as the show lasts from year to year unless they are killed off, which, of course will take an entire episode with oodles of angst…….a special Television Event. Margaret likes to look up why they left the show……contract dispute? Ambition? When a new major character is introduced, there is always friction with the other main characters but eventually everyone is BFFs.
When You Watch, You’ll Notice There are lots of female crime solvers nowadays with more appearing as we speak. Thank you, Agatha Christie. Masterpiece Theater the BBC, Acorn, Britbox and Hallmark Mystery are prime examples. We must say a few words about the Hallmark Mysteries. While they are not particularly deep, they follow the template of the traditional mystery. They also feature some atrocious acting, gobs of syrup, and you’ll probably identify the murderer fairly quickly, but they are lots of fun in their badness. There is clearly a reparatory company with the same actors bouncing around from show to show. Most look alike so it’s hard to tell them apart sometimes. British mysteries also feature multiple show reparatory companies. We’ve counted some actors/actresses who have appeared in up to six different series. Sometimes our viewing is interrupted as we research what shows that familiar face has appeared in. Margaret is excellent in the art of identifying a familiar face in a past performance. “She was the wife of the villain in “Midsommer Murders.” “He was a detective in Death in Paradise. She was the murderer in a Poirot episode.” Margaret is also non paralleled when spotting actor age discrepancies. She will inform that the male college student romancing the coed is actually 34 years old even though he is playing a 21-year old. Likewise, that female love interest of the 50 something guy is actually 15 years older than him in real life. But we digress.
Meanwhile back at a typical Hallmark mystery, as we’ve said, these plots are not particularly complicated although they do attempt to throw in the occasional red herring. Carrying on the tradition of Wilkie Collins pioneering detective novel, The Moonstone, a climactic scene is de reguer. The overly long exciting climax, as we’ve seen in many other detective shows involves the villain who has trapped the heroine in the woods (she has already fallen a few times), the basement, the abandoned building, a sauna, a deserted street, the sawmill, a car……. He/she calmly reaches into a purse/drawer /under a pillow and pulls out a gun/knife. The heroine is always alone. This is because when told to “wait here” by someone…….she NEVER does and off she goes and that’s what gets her into this pickle. Surprise! Alone as always, she is cornered by the villain, and they will engage in a Socratic dialogue explaining why and how the murder(s) were committed***. Flashbacks are mandatory. Meanwhile the manly hero/love interest who has been knocked out or is on the way to the scene but not quite there yet, or gone to the wrong address, or just said to someone at the police station or newspaper, or antiques shop, “where’s Emma?”, does not, repeat does not, ever save the day. Sometimes the heroine beats up the villain and then runs away, only to be caught and beats him (her) up again, and then hides, breathless, chest heaving in fear while the villain, who has already been punched and kicked and is clearly a glutton for punishment continues the relentless pursuit only until, you guessed it, get knocked down again. If a gun is involved and is knocked to the floor during the struggle, the heroine always gets to it first. When the heroine is locked in a basement, attic, sinking ship, sauna or ice room, she will come up with a McGiveresque method of escape. By this time the manly hero, and love interest, arrives. He may or may not be beat up by the villain, but this gives our heroine an opportunity go get the situation under control and save the day. They engage in a chaste but heavy breathing embrace, heroine’s head facing the camera. He is usually a square jawed stubbled detective, so while they embrace the arrest is made by conveniently appearing patrolmen. Then we spend the final five minutes of the program hearing the detective or her mother or her aunt, or co-worker/friend shaking their heads while gazing lovingly at her, “Oh Aurora/Constance/Jane/Hannah/Birdie/Goldie/Sophie/Nikki/Nora/Francesca/Ali/Zee/Angie/
Allie/Ruby/Alex/Amy/Tess/Emma/Haily/Billie/Shannon/Abby/Maggie/Samantha/ You’re always finding dead bodies. How do you always get mixed up in these things?”.
Now you may be thinking that having such a perceptive individual as your observer on hand verbally noticing things might be just a tad annoying to someone else who just wants to watch the program. Yes, it is annoying. It’s very annoying. Don’t invite me to watch a mystery with you. Please note I would never do this in the movies but since I don’t go to the movies it is a moot point. I really try to control myself, but it is an ongoing battle as I’m a serial noticer and commenter on noticing. Sometimes I’m so busy noticing that I lose track of the plot. Margaret has to bring me up to speed. She bears the brunt of my noticing. I know it is bothersome for her. Yet somehow, because she is a saint, she resists from hurling objects. Athough it would not be the TV remote to be hurled since somehow, it always ends up at my side (something to do with the laws of physics I believe). Unfortunately, during an occasional rare loss of control, I will blurt out something like “he’s holding a cigarette but there’s no smoke”. Margaret ignores me. She is very good at that. Sometimes she calmly says, “would you like to watch something else?” Shuts me right up. Now, instead of mentioning that James Spader tilts his head emphatically when he speaks, no matter what the role, I take mental notes or send myself a text and then add it to an essay on what to watch for in crime shows.
Haven’t stopped watching crime mysteries though. There are always new ones with gimmicks, detective going blind, fish out of water characters such as the detective transferred to a Caribbean Island from London, Asperger detective……. We love the new locales. There are mysteries in New Zealand, Scotland, France with subtitles, Italy with subtitles, Iceland with shivering, Australia, Ireland, Northern Ireland, ………And they will all follow the same pattern. The consistencies we’ve identified, and there may be more, will guide you through your viewing until at some point, like me, you may lose track of the plot while comparing color schemes. Glad we could help.
*Twelve actresses who have portrayed Agatha Christie’s classic amateur detective, that little old lady, Jane Marple. Joan Hickson, from 1984-1992 is the most faithful to the original character.
*** Regarding the climax in which the villain pulls out the gun or knife and a discussion ensues, we are always reminded of Eli Wallach in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Eli is playing a Mexican bandit named Tuco. Tuco is taking a bubble bath in an abandoned town (don’t ask). Suddenly, a man bursts in holding a gun accusing Tuco of killing his wife, burning his home and stealing his cattle. Tuco shoots him with the gun he is hiding in the bubbles and says “It you’re gonna shoot, shoot. Don’t talk”.
Sources:
https://www.novelsuspects.com/articles/a-brief-history-of-whodunit/
https://www.biblio.com/blog/2020/01/a-brief-history-of-mystery-books/?srsltid=AfmBOopeSYZn30Z6nUvF1STlQIrmVtHrIgz5vv9ZfA1fTTcAe_TJO0d4
https://thrillingdetective.com/2018/09/06/television-chronological/
https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/first-crime-show-on-tv#:~:text=Telecrime%20(BBC%2C%201938–39,by%20J%20B%20Rowe%2C%20UK).
https://murdershewatched.com/detective-database/
https://mastersofmystery.com/blogs/latest/1875-to-2025-150-years-of-murder-mystery-how-it-began-and-why-it-became-popular?srsltid=AfmBOoo91TiAEhT7qDdnQFTLTqbnrHDfCxpYzrNLRMAr9UlLn--OyRZl
https://nebraskapublicmedia.org/documents/349/MysteryFiction.pdf
