“Many valiant men, how many fair ladies, breakfast with their kinfolk and the same night supped with their ancestors in the next world!”.... The Decameron, Giovanni Boccaccio.
“Don’t worry, it’s not going to rain today.” The reflexive response is “famous last words”.
Once upon a time, “famous last words” was literally the notable final comments of someone before they breathed their last. The first use of the idiom was applied to Union General John Sedgewick (age 50) who proclaimed at the Battle of Spotsylvania in May 1864 that, “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance” just before he was shot by a Confederate sniper below his left eye and was rendered kaput.
Current colloquial usage, the one we often use, evolved during the 20th century, appearing in literature and popular culture as a sarcastic response to overconfidence or bravado which will be proven wrong or contradicted by subsequent events. Some examples: “Hey guys, watch this.” “I’ve never had a flat tire.” “That marriage will last forever.” “It looks sturdy enough for me.” “It will be easy from here on in.” “I'll never forget your birthday; I have it marked on my calendar!” “We have plenty of time to get to the airport.” “You can't wake them up while they're hibernating”, and, yes, “Don’t worry. It won’t rain today”
Today, we’re going to take note of some closing perorations of the well-known as well as the obscure before they bit the dust. As we know, famous last words* was originally a factual reference to the well-known last words of some famous person especially those whose final utterances took on an ironic or poignant significance. The phrase evolved to famous last words of the not famous as their departing remarks would become famous. It is important to note that there had to be someone present to hear and record the parting words of the soon to be demised or at least to read their final diary entry. You will notice as you peruse this composition that oft times the closing words were to a wife, lover, nurse, doctor, or servant. Also notice the frequency that gunfire was involved.
During our study of notable final statements we expected something witty from some notably witty people such as Ben Franklin (1706–1790) - “A dying man can do nothing easy.” or the French philosopher, Voltaire (1694–1778) who affirmed to a priest who asked him to renounce Satan, “This is no time to be making new enemies”. However, as we shall see, the heretofore unknown also contributed to the lexicon of famed departing windups. As expected, many of the well-known last words came from those in the world of the arts.
In music, we have the adieus of composers and vocalists and one drummer. Gustav Mahler, (1860–1911) Austrian composer and conductor, noted for his 10 symphonies died in bed, conducting an imaginary orchestra. His last word was “Mozart!” And speaking of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791), the legendary and prolific composer of operas, symphonies and concertos, including Symphony No. 40 in G Minor , Piano Concerto No. 21 (Elvira Madigan), and operas, The Marriage of Figaro and Don Giovanni, died saying to his sister, Constanze, "The taste of death is upon my lips. I feel something that is not of this earth." We cannot mention Mozart without mentioning German composter/pianist, Ludwig Von Beethoven (1770–1827). His most famous composition was Symphony No. 5 in C Minor, Op. 67. Trust us, you know the first four notes. Beethoven departed requesting “friends applaud; the comedy is finished”. Percy Grainger (1882-1961) was an Australian composer who, with his dying words, narrowed down his feelings towards people in general and said to his wife Ella, “You’re the only one I like.” Baroque era French composer Jean-Philippe Rameau, recognized for his harpsicord music, (1683–1764) had a rather negative reaction to a song being sung at his bedside. He said, “What the devil do you mean to sing to me, priest? You are out of tune.”
American blues singer Bessie Smith (1894–1937) was known as the 'Empress of the Blues’. Her most well-known song was Down Hearted Blues and she died saying, “I’m going, but I’m going in the name of the Lord.” Frank Sinatra (1915–1998), known as ‘The Chairman of the Board’ or Ol’ Blue Eyes’ with numerous hit recordings such as My Way, Strangers in the Night, and Fly Me to the Moon, as well as many movies, died after saying, “I’m losing” according to wife, Barbara. Our next two contributors, like General Sedgewick, and others did not know that their famous last words would be their famous last words. Once again, guns were involved. American R&B singer, Johnny Ace, (1929–1954) had a #1 hit with Pledging My Love. Note, he is always referred to by the media and disc jockeys as “the late great Johnny Ace” as if that was his full name. He died in 1954 while playing with a pistol during a break in his concert set. His last words were, “I’ll show you that it won’t shoot.” Not sure if the audience got a refund for the abbreviated show. Terry Kath, (1946–1978) was lead singer of the group Chicago on hits such as Color My World and Make Me Smile. Mr. Kath obviously was not familiar with the demise of the late great Mr. Ace as he intoned “What do you think I am going to do blow my brains out?” Kath was holding what he thought was an unloaded gun. Unfortunately, the gun was loaded, and Kath did blow his brains out.
Drum virtuoso, Buddy Rich (69) legendary for his work with “Big Bands”, went defunct in 1987. As he was being prepped for a surgery from which he would not return, a nurse asked him, “Is there anything you can’t take?” Rich replied, “Yeah, country music.” Blues/Folk guitarist Huddie William Ledbetter, a.k.a. Lead Belly, (1888–1949) was the first to record the standard, Goodnight Irene in 1933. He correctly predicted, “Doctor, if I put this here guitar down now, I ain’t never gonna wake up.”
On the last night of American/French resident, singer/dancer, civil rights activist and WWII spy, Josephine Baker’s (1906–1975) life, she left a party being held in her honor, saying, “Oh, you young people act like old men. You are no fun.” The great guitarist, Bo Diddley (1928–2008) died giving a thumbs-up as he listened to the song Walk Around Heaven. His last word was “Wow.” James Brown (1933–2006) The “Godfather of Soul” who sang, Please Please Please, Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag and I Got You, informed those around him, “I’m going away tonight.” Kurt Cobain, lead singer of Nirvana, (gunshot again) left a suicide note ending with “It's better to burn out than to fade away. Peace, Love, Empathy”. Cobain was quoting Neil Young’s Hey Hey My My…..Into the Black. And of course there’s Elvis (1935–1977). according to his “fiancé”, Ginger Alden his final words during a sleepless night were “I’m going to the bathroom to read.”
Apologies to Irving Berlin (he died in his sleep at the age of 100), the world of show business has several notable contributors to our study because, as Berlin wrote “There’s No Business Like Show Business”. Right up until the end comedian/movie star/television star, Bob Hope (1903–2003) had a quip. His wife asked him where he wanted to be buried. He said, “Surprise me.” W.C Fields, comedian/vaudeville/movie star/drinker, (1880–1946) was famous for his crankiness and cutting humor and so like some of the other famous in this essay, he gets credit for several different famous last words. The most reliable seems to be “God damn the whole friggin’ world and everyone in it but you, Carlotta.” He was speaking to Carlotta Monti, his longtime mistress. Actor, Michael Landon, (1936–1991) “Little Joe” on Bonanza and star of Little House on the Prairie, and Highway to Heaven had his family gathered at his bedside and his son said it was time to move on. Landon said, “You’re right. It’s time. I love you all.” Movie star, John Wayne (1907–1979), The Searchers, True Grit, Rio Bravo, died in Los Angeles. The Duke turned to his wife, Pilar, and said, “Of course I know who you are. You’re my girl. I love you.” Actor, Humphrey Bogart (1899–1957), High Sierra, Casablanca, the Maltese Falcon, was a heavy smoker and suffering from cancer told his wife, Lauren Bacall as she was leaving the house to pick up their children at school, “Goodbye, kid. Hurry back.”
Singer, dancer, actor, comedian Donald O’Connor (1925–2003), Singin in the Rain, and Francis, the Talking Mule, hosted the Academy Awards in 1954. When it was time to go to that big stage in the sky in 2003, he jokingly told his family “I’d like to thank the Academy for my lifetime achievement award that I will eventually get.” He still hasn’t gotten one. Jack Soo (1917–1979) was a cast member in the comedy police television series Barney Miller. There was a running joke on the show about Soo’s character making terrible coffee at the station house. As Soo was being wheeled into an operating room, cancer of the esophagus, he joked, “It must have been the coffee.” Most of us have never heard of Charles Gussman (1913-2000). He was a writer and TV announcer who wrote the pilot episode of the soap opera, Days of Our Lives, among other shows. He knew he was ill, and he wanted his last words to be memorable. When his daughter reminded him of this, he removed his oxygen mask and whispered: “And now for a final word from our sponsor—.”
And we turn to the comedy of the Marx Brothers, The Coconuts, Animal Crackers, Duck Soup ……Groucho (Julius) Marx (1890–1977) was dying of pneumonia, and he let out one last parting wisecrack, “This is no way to live!”. Chico (Leonard) Marx (1887–1961). He’s the one with the Italian accent, gave instructions to his wife as his last words: “Remember, Honey, don’t forget what I told you. Put in my coffin a deck of cards, a mashie niblick, and a pretty blonde.” A “mashie niblick” is a type of golf club, the equivalent of a seven iron. As for the silent Marx brother who never spoke, Harpo (Arthur) - 1887–1961, died after surgery, silently. And, yet another Marx brother, the German, Karl, (1818–1883) author of the Communist Manifesto was a barrel of laughs to the end as he said, “Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough”.
“Master of Suspense”, Alfred Hitchcock (1899–1980), Pyscho, North by Northwest, Rear Window, remarked as he was dying “One never knows the ending. One has to die to know exactly what happens after death, although Catholics have their hopes.” Famed reporter, Edward R. Murrow (1908–1965), who always had a cigarette in his hand when reporting the news or interviewing news makers, died while patting his wife’s hand. He said, “Well, Jan, we were lucky at that.” Movie star, Joan Crawford (1924–1972), Mildred Pierce, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, Trog, was nasty in life and nasty to the end as she berated a nurse praying for her, “Damn it! Don't you dare ask God to help me!". Next, we have a case of optimism vs. pessimism with the latter being correct. Stan Laurel of Laurel and Hardy movie, The Music Box, Babes in Toyland, A Chump at Oxford, Sons of the Desert, fame (1890-1965) was told by his nurse that he would be fine in the morning. “I’ll be in Hell before you start breakfast!” correctly joked the comedian. And a final show biz last words, actually two, “Codeine… bourbon…” said actress Tallulah Bankhead (1902-1968). Bankhead, Lifeboat, A Royal Scandal, was known for her flamboyant personality, lifestyle and sharp wit and drinking.
Naturally many authors couldn’t go without leaving something memorable. It might even be a requirement of the job. Russian/American author Vladimir Nabokov (1899–1977), Pale Fire, was also an entomologist whose particular interest was butterflies. His last words: “A certain butterfly is already on the wing.” One might think his final declaration should have been Lolita. Moby-Dick author Herman Melville (1819–1891) died saying, “God bless Captain Vere!” He was referring to his then-unpublished novel Billy Budd which was found in a breadbox after his death. Joseph Wright (1734–1797) was a noted linguist who edited the English Dialect Dictionary. His last word? Fittingly, it was “Dictionary”. George Orwell’s (1903–1950) last written words were, “At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.” The 1984 author—whose real name was Eric Arthur Blair—died at age 46 from complications of Tuberculosis. French philosopher/author, Jean-Paul Sartre -(1905–1980) said to his philosopher/author partner Simone de Beauvoir “I love you very much, my dear Beaver”. His pet name for her was based partly on her surname and partly on her notably busy work ethic. Among Sartre’s many books was Being and Nothingness and so he went from……to……..
Austrian Hungarian (now the Czech Republic) poet, Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926), known for his põem, Duino Elegies, said, “I don’t want the doctor’s death. I want to have my own freedom.” Irish poet T.S. Eliot (1888–1965), The Waste Land, which included the line, “April is the cruelest month” was only able to whisper one word as he died: “Valerie,” the name of his wife. He died in January, not April. American, Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) was best known for his witty quips—including the lines, “Be nice to people on the way up because you’ll meet the same people on the way down” and “If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism. If you steal from many, it's research.”. He was also a successful playwright. On his deathbed, a priest said to him, “I’m sure you want to talk to me.” Mizner replied, “Why should I talk to you? I’ve just been talking to your boss.” O.O. (Oscar Odd) McIntyre (1884–1938) was an American reporter. His daily column about the city, “New York Day by Day,” reportedly ran in more than 500 newspapers throughout the United States. He died at age 53, and spoke his last words to his wife Maybelle: “Snooks, will you please turn this way. I like to look at your face.” English poet, Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806–1861) famous for her Songs of the Portuguese, renowned for “How do I love thee. Let me count the ways”, said to her husband, Robert, “Beautiful.” Somehow, we didn’t think she’d call Robert, “Snooks”. British novelist, Jane Austen, (1775–1817, celebrated for her novels, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Emma, among others, died at 4:30 in the morning of July 18, 1817, with her sister, Cassandra at her bedside. She said, “I want nothing but death.” according to a letter from Cassandra Austen to her niece Fannie Wright.
Then we have “My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.” This was attributed to Oscar Wilde (1854–1900) celebrated wit and author of The Importance of Being Earnest and Picture of Dorian Gray amongst others. The “wallpaper” quotes have been Internetingly multiplied, divided, added, and subtracted ad infinitum. However, according to the book Oscar Wilde: The Unrepentant Years, he said this to a visiting friend a few weeks before went kaput in Paris. The correct quote is probably “I am dying beyond my means. I can't even afford to die.” as he lay, penniless, expiring in a dilapidated Paris hotel. Before Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises, A Farewell to Arms, (1899–1961) committed suicide, he told his wife Mary, “Goodnight, my kitten.” The ensuing shotgun blast probably ensured that she would not have a good night. The Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Eugene O’Neill (1888–1953), author of Long Day’s Journey into the Night, and many others, was born in a room at the Broadway Hotel on Long Acre Square, now Times Square in New York City. He died at age 65 in the Sheraton Hotel in Boston and his last words were, “I knew it! I knew it! Born in a hotel room and, goddamn it, dying in a hotel room.”. Another hotel, another passing as Welsh poet, and noted heavy drinker, Dylan Thomas (1914-1953), author of Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night' and 'And Death Shall have No Dominion' proudly proclaimed “I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies… I think that’s the record” at the Chelsea Hotel in New York. The quote is probably true but possibly embellished. He then slipped into a coma from which he never recovered.
Dominique Bouhors (1628–1702) was a 17th century French Grammarian. He was a Grammarian to the end, devoted to the art of proper syntax as he said, “I am about to or I am going to either expression is correct”. Truman Capote (1924–1984), author of In Cold Blood and Breakfast at Tiffany’s was also known for his feuds, and scathing wit. He left this vale of tears saying, “Mama—Mama—Mama.” Artist, writer, and filmmaker, Derek Jarman’s (1942–1994) last words as he was dying of AIDS were “I want the world to be filled with white fluffy duckies.” Author of The Prince, politician/diplomat, Niccolo Machiavelli (1469–1527) offered a request before dying of a stomach ailment caused by medication he took for, yes, a stomach ailment. “I desire to go to Hell and not Heaven. In the former place I shall enjoy the company of popes, kings, and princes, while in the latter are only beggars, monks, and apostles”. We’ve also seen Machiavelli’s final announcement as, “I am no longer afraid of poverty or frightened of death. I live entirely through them.” And then he didn’t. Norwegian playwright,A Dolls House and Enemy of the People, Henrik Ibsen (1828–1906) was contrary to the end. His wife remarked that his condition was improving. He said, “On the contrary.” Then he died. “I feel nothing, apart from a certain difficulty in continuing to exist.” said French philosopher and writer, Bernard de Fontenelle (1657-1757).
As for Irish playwright, George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950.), we don’t really know his last words, but as with many others in this essay, famous quotes from his life pop up as “last words”. The most accurate seems to be "I knew if I stayed around long enough, something like this would happen." Among Shaw’s most memorable works are Pygmalion (you know the musical version as My Fair Lady), Major Barbara and Man and Superman. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859–1930), the creator of Sherlock Holmes went kaput in his garden. He turned to his wife and said, “You are wonderful,” then clutched his chest and died.
You might think that the most famous wordsmith of all, William Shakespeare (1564–1616) would have some famous last words since his plays are chock full of them. Sadly, there are none from him. His final written words are in his will, discovered in 1747. They are “By me William Shakspeare”. He left his wife of 33 years, Anne Hathaway, “my second best bed with the furniture.”. We do not know the fate of his best bed. Poet Emily Dickinson’s (1830–1886) final words were, “I must go in, for the fog is rising.” This echoed her poem, Because I Could not Stop for Death, published posthumously in 1890, “Because I could not stop for Death – / He kindly stopped for me – / The Carriage held but just Ourselves – / And Immortality.”
The world of science, technology and mathematics has given us quite a few parting bon mots. The great physicist, and author (Principia) Isaac Newton (1643–1727) died after saying “I don’t know what I may seem to the world. But as to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore and diverting myself now and then in finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than the ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.” Physicist, Albert Abraham ( 1852–1931), was more focused than Newton. Michelson spent much of his career measuring the speed of light. He was the first American to win the Nobel Prize in Physics. As he was dying, he was still engrossed in measuring light. He wrote in his log: “The following is a report on the measurement of the velocity of light made at the Irvine Ranch, near Santa Ana, California, during the period of September 1929 to—.” And that was it. He went dark. Richard Feynman (1918–1988) physicist, Nobel Prize winner, author, (Surely, You’re Joking Mr. Feynman) musician, professor, and traveler died in Los Angeles in 1988. His last words? “This dying is boring.” Remember that quote when we get to Winston Churchill a bit later in this essay.
English surgeon Joseph Henry Green (1791–1863) was checking his own pulse as he lay dying. His last word: “Stopped.” Happy to the end, birth control advocate and Eugenicist, Margaret Sanger’s (1879–1966), parting shot was “A party! Let’s have a party.” According to his sister Mona, Apple co-founder Steve Jobs (1955–2011), the computer virtuoso and entrepreneur’s last words were, “Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.” Thomas Fantet de Lagny (1660–1734) was a French mathematician. On his deathbed, he was asked, “What is the square of 12?” His last words: “One hundred and forty-four.” British economist and philosopher, John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946) regretfully noted “I should have drunk more champagne.” He was referring to not enjoying more of life’s pleasures, a fitting end for a man famous for Keynesian Economics. “Don’t disturb my circles!” Greek mathematician and inventor Archimedes (c. 287-212 BC) reprimanded a Roman soldier who interrupted his mathematical studies in the sand on the island of Sicily. The soldier killed him, thus disturbing his circles. After 1093 patents, the light was going out for inventor, Thomas Edison, (1847-1931) as he said, “It's very beautiful over there”. Leonardo Da Vinci (1452–1519) could be included in our scientists or our artists. At age 67 (we thought he was older…..he certainly looked older), he humbly noted “I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.” Well, the Mona Lisa was pretty good though.
We’ve segued to artists thanks to Leonardo. Italian Renaissance artist Raphael’s (1483–1520), most famous work is “The School of Athens”, located inside the Stanza della Segnatura on the second floor of the Vatican Palace. He succumbed to, well, we’re not sure. There are some theories with the most popular being that his secrecy regarding his late-night outings…..seeking sex,…he was a bit of a horn dog, may have led doctors to misdiagnose his ailment and prescribe the wrong treatment that ultimately accelerated his death. Raphael’s (Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino) last word was simply “happy.” Eccentric, surrealist artist, Salvador Dali (1904–1989) claimed he did not believe in mortality. Wrong. He said “I do not believe in my death” just before his heart attack. Frida Kahlo (1907–1954) was a gifted artist and a walking United Nations, she had a German Hungarian-Jewish father and a mother of Spanish and Mexican Indian descent. She was famous for her eyebrows and the work, “The Two Fridas”. She wrote in her diary "I hope the exit is joyful and hope never to come back.”
Turning our attention to the world of crime we find that some criminals faced the death penalty with a bit of humor. “How’s this for your headline, French Fries!” said James Donald French. (1936–1966). French a convicted murderer made his prediction before facing his end at the electric chair. French kidnapped and killed a motorist who had given him a lift. Following his arrest on that charge, he strangled a cellmate in jail. “Butterfingers” Thomas B. Moran (1896-1971) was an accomplished pickpocket. He reportedly stole as many as 50,000 wallets in his career but who’s counting. As he was dying, his last words were a complaint, “I’ve never forgiven that smart-alecky reporter who named me Butterfingers. To me, it’s not funny.” Murderer James W. Rodgers (1910-1960) was put in front of a firing squad in Utah and asked if he had a last request. He replied, “Bring me a bullet-proof vest.” John Arthur Spenkelink (1949-1979) was executed in Florida in 1979 for the murder of a fellow criminal. He kept busy in his final days writing his last words on various pieces of mail: “Capital punishment means those without the capital get the punishment.” Convicted murderer, Thomas J. Grasso had a major menu issue with his last meal as he used his last words to complain “I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s; I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.”. Charles “Lucky” “Charley Lucky” Luciano (1897-1962) was the most powerful “boss” of the American Mafia in the early 1930s and a major influence even from prison in 1936–45 and then after deportation to Italy in 1946. His last words were, “Tell Georgie I want to get in the movies one way or another.” He was probably referring to actor, George Raft who was known for his friendships with gangsters.
In the arena of sports, Hall of Fame football coach Vince Lombardi, (1913–1970)
whose Green Bay Packers won the first Super Bowl, was dying of cancer in 1970 and turned to his wife Marie and said, “Happy anniversary. I love you.” Louisiana State University basketball great “Pistol” Pete Maravich (1947–1988) collapsed during a pickup game. His unfortunate last words: “I feel great.” Moe Berg (1902–1972) was a baseball player, a catcher who played for several teams, including the Brooklyn Dodgers and the Boston Red Sox. He was later a spy for the U.S Office of Strategic Services (OSS) reporting on the Nazi atomic bomb work during WW II. His final words to his wife were “how did the Mets do today?”…..They won. His ashes were scattered in Israel. NASCAR driver, Dale Earnhardt, (1951–2001), in what would be a final interview before his last race said, "Easy now, I'm not 50 yet. Just take it easy, guys. You know, I got a lot of years of racing left... When I go to start sitting on the porch a little more, then, you know, you talk about me being a senior citizen." His car crashed on the final lap, and he was killed instantly. Soccer legend, Argentinian, Diego Maradona (1960–2020), woke up one morning, was unable to finish his breakfast and said, “I don’t feel well”.
We imagine that the famously disappeared mob connected labor leader, Jimmy Hoffa may have said “I’ll see you after lunch” as he was going to dine with some Mafiosi associates. He never came back.
Historically, well-known famous last words, can be, as we’ve seen, poignant, funny, sad, weird, or mean—The last words can make quite the impact as folks shuffle off the stage of life and we were certain that historic figures had some historically famous final words, and they didn’t let us down. French astrologer and physician, Nostradamus’ (1503–1566) was the most widely read clairvoyant of the Renaissance. His final prediction was, “Tomorrow at sunrise, I shall no longer be here.” Well, he got that one correct. Harriet Tubman, (1822–1913)was an escaped slave, abolitionist, and the most well-known of all the Underground Railroad's "conductors”. As she gathered her family around and they sang together; some have said her last words were “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.” However, her actual last words were, “Give my love to the churches. Tell the women to stand firm. I go to prepare a place for you.”
Monarchial parting words cover a range from resignation to being unaware that the end was near. Anne Boleyn, the second wife of Henry VIII (there were six in all), gave a speech from the scaffold at the Tower of London prior to her beheading. “Thus, I take leave of the world, and of you, and I heartily desire you all to pray for me. Oh Lord, have mercy on me! To God I commend my soul!” Always considerate, Henry had imported an expert executioner from France. One swipe with a very sharp sword and it was done. The only daughter of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn, Queen Elizabeth I (1533–1603) of England reportedly said as she was exiting due to pneumonia in 1603, “All of my possessions for a moment of time!" Historians believe the statement to be apocryphal. As for her father, Henry VIII (1491–1547), he expired with the recorded last words, “I will first take a little sleep, and then, as I feel myself, I will advise upon the matter. “. On the other hand, England’s King George V (1865–1936), was a bit incensed. According to his physician the English monarch yelled “God Damn you!” at his nurse as gave him a sedative. Marie Antoinette (1755–1793), Queen of France, stepped on her executioner’s foot on her way to the guillotine at the Place de la Révolution, now the Place de la Concorde in, Paris. Her last words: “Pardonnez-moi, monsieur.” Her husband, the unfortunately dim Louis XVI, (1754–1793), addressed the crowd as he was prepared for the guillotine. “I die innocent. I pardon my enemies, and I hope that my blood will be useful to the French, that it will appease God’s anger...” Then, the drums……. hey, it was the execution of a king, of course they had a band………. began to roll loudly and Louis’ final words were inaudible. Louis was killed on January 21, 1793. Wife Marie followed on October 16, 1793. Speaking of France, Louise-Marie-Thérèse de Saint Maurice, a confidant of Marie Antoinette happily noted, “Good. A woman who can fart is not dead.”, after letting loose with the same. Don’t put too much credence in that one as research into Madame de Saint Maurice yielded several Madame de Saint Maurices including one nun, all having had the flatulence quote attributed to them, but it was too good a quote to pass up.
“Oh God, I’ve been murdered” announced British Prime Minister, Spencer Perceval (1762–1812 ) after being shot by a deranged man, John Bellingham in the House of Commons. American industrialist Richard B. Mellon, (1858–1933) a multimillionaire, was the president of Alcoa. He and his brother Andrew had a lifelong game of tag going. When Richard was on his deathbed, he called his brother over and whispered, “Last tag.” Brother Andrew remained “it” for four years, until he died apparently having no one to tag. William Seward (1801–1872), Secretary of State during the Lincoln and Johnson administrations, most famous for organizing the purchase of Alaska, known then as “Seward’s Folly”, was asked if he had any final words. He replied, “Nothing, only ‘love one another.’ George Washington’s (1732 – 1797) final speech was considerably shorter than his Farewell Address at Fraunces Tavern in New York. It was simply, “Tis well”. Franklin D. Roosevelt, (1882–1945) President of the U.S complained “I have a terrific Headache” as he suffered a brain hemorrhage that would prove fatal. President John F. Kennedy (1917 – 1963) and his wife, Jacqueline were riding with Texas governor, John Connelly, and his wife in the Presidential limousine in Dallas on November 22, 1963. During the ride, the Mrs. Connelly told JFK, “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President”, to which JFK responded “No, you certainly can’t.” He was then assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald.
Edith Louisa Cavell (1865–1915), was a British nurse and patriot executed by a German firing squad in Brussels, Belgium during WWI. She was killed for assisting Allied soldiers in escaping from German-occupied territory. "Standing, as I do, in the view of God and eternity, I realize that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone."
Sometimes famous last words are added posthumously. “Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.” Pancho Villa (1878–1923) didn’t say it. Actually, he didn’t say anything but it’s a nice story. The Mexican revolutionary leader was shot in the head while traveling home in his car from a visit to Parral, Chihuahua, Mexico and died instantly. Speaking of being shot, “I wonder why he shot me” queried Senator Huey Long (1893–1935) of Louisiana. The “Kingfish” speculated on this after being hit by a bullet fired in the Louisiana State capital building, by Dr. Carl Weiss. Then we have, “F--k, a bullet wound!” (there’s that gunfire again), cursed Antonio Jose De Sucre (1795–1830) Venezuelan independence leader and President of Peru and Bolivia. De Sucre articulated this candid expression of dismay in the middle of his assassination in 1830. Mass murderer, and architect of the Bolshevik Revolution, Vladimir Lenin (1870–1924) said “Good dog” to a dog that brought him a dead bird. Doctors had removed a bullet from a wound he received during an attempted assassination in 1918. Things didn’t go well as he experienced the joys of Communist socialized medicine. Pioneer pilot, Amelia Earhart’s (1897-1937) final radio transmission was "Gas is running low. We are on the line 157-337. We will repeat this message. We will repeat this on 6210 kilocycles. Wait." She and navigator, Fred Noonan were aiming for Howland Island, a minuscule island in the Pacific only 13,200 feet long and 2,650 feet wide during their “round the world” flight. Amelia and Noonan lost radio contact with the Coast Guard cutter Itasca, which could not return their communication. We’ll never know what Earhart and Noonan said to each other before they disappeared into the mists of history. French designer and style setter, Coco Chanel, (Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel 1883–1971), of Chanel #5 perfume fame, was expiring at the Ritz hotel and said to her maid, Celene, “You see, this is how you die." Speaking of fashion, Mata Hari, (Margaretha Zelle, 1876–1917) Dutch exotic dancer, courtesan, and convicted of being a spy for Germany during WWI, was in front of a firing squad in Vincennes, France and said, “I am ready.” When offered a blindfold, she disapproved and said, “must I wear that?” Was a clash of colors the issue? Lawrence of Rome, (226-258) aka St. Lawrence was martyred in 258 during one of the periodic persecutions of Christians, this time under the Emperor Valarian. As he was being burned alive, Lawrence’ parting request was, “Turn me over—I’m done on this side”. Perhaps Jack Daniels (1846–1911) of the eponymous Tennessee sour whiskey brand would like to have met Dylan Thomas (see above in the authors section). Mr. Daniels kicked a safe in frustration. His leg developed an ultimately fatal blood infection. As he was failing, he asked for “One last drink please”.
Caligula, (12-41 AD), infamously murderous looney Roman Emperor, shouted “Vivo” (I live) as he was being chopped up by the Praetorian Guard. He was wrong. He didn’t live. Caligula was succeeded by his uncle, Claudius who was eventually poisoned by his wife, Agrippina, (sister of Caligula if you’re keeping score), who would in turn would be ordered murdered by her son, the monstrous, Nero. She eliminated Claudius so that Nero would succeed him as Emperor. Nero is another of those whose famous last words may be famous, but they probably are not his last. “What a great artist the world loses in me!” (Qualis artifex pereo!). Condemned to death by the Senate, Nero committed suicide by stabbing himself in the throat and exsanguinated as the Praetorian Guard were on on their way to carry out the sentence. Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC), Roman philosopher, statesman, and orator hated Marc Antony. Antony hated Cicero. With Antony in power, Cicero attempted to escape from Rome. Antony sent solders to kill him. They caught up with him. As they prepared to execute him, he reportedly said “There is nothing proper about what you are doing, soldier, but do try to kill me properly.” The soldiers brought Cicero’s head to Antony.
On the other hand, Lady Nancy Astor, the first woman to serve as a member of Parliament, wondered “Am I dying or is this my birthday?” as she briefly regained consciousness and found her family gathered around her. Charles Darwin, (1809-1882) of Theory of Evolution fame, calmly said “I am not the least afraid to die.” British General William Erskine (1770-1813), said, “Now why did I do that?” after jumping out of a window in Lisbon, Portugal. We go from the British Army to the British Navy and swashbuckling hero Admiral Horatio Nelson, (1758–1805. Having already lost an eye and an arm in naval battles, what was left of him died of wounds suffered during his victory at the Battle of Trafalgar declaring, “Thank God I have done my duty." Sir Winston Churchill (1874–1965), military hero, author, politician, British Prime Minister during WW II, was just about done with life saying, “I’m bored with it all.” On the other hand, Italian explorer, Marco Polo, 1254-1324), could keep a secret or two about his adventures and travels in Asia. “I have not told half of what I saw.” Robert Falcon Scott and four others including Captain Lawrence Oates were seeking to become the first to reach the South Pole. When they arrived on January 17, 1912, they found Roald Amundsen's Norwegian flag and tent already there. On the return trip from the pole after their failure to be first, Antarctic explorer, Oates, (1880-1912) informed his compatriots “I am just going outside and may be some time" as he went outside, barefoot, into a blizzard. His four colleagues died just four days later. The bodies were found frozen in their tent by a search party. Oates' body was never found.
And finally, Todd Beamer (1968 – September 11, 2001), was a passenger on United Flight 93, September 11, 2001. “Are you guys ready? Let’s Roll”. These were his last recorded words at the end of a cell phone call before Beamer and others attempted to storm the airliner's cockpit to retake it from Islamic hijackers. The plane crashed near Shanksville, Pennsylvania.
You may be familiar with the expression, “Good-bye, cruel world”, it was written in an alleged suicide note printed in the St. Louis Daily Globe-Democrat on August 5, 1875, and the Chicago Daily News on September 26, 1879.
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" —Steven Wright (comedian)
* Please note that these citations have been double and sometimes triple checked because as we know, the internet is not only never wrong, but also good at multiplication. One incorrect quotation will be copied and pasted multiple times ad infinitum. Meiosis and mitosis gone wild. Trust us, we know this from following quite a few ultimately false quotes down the rabbit hole. Still, as thorough and reliable as our research has been, it would be advisable to not rely on this essay as a primary source for your PhD dissertation.
Sources:
Last Words of Notable People: Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History
https://grammarist.com/idiom/famous-last-words/
https://worldhistoryedu.com/famous-last-words-of-historys-greatest-figures/
https://www.phrases.org.uk/famous-last-words
http://www.thehypertexts.com/Famous%20Last%20Words.htm
