But I Always Sit There
“That is my spot, in an ever-changing world, it is a single point of consistency”……….Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory.
We took a wonderful river cruise on the Danube via Amawaterways from Vilshofen, Germany to Budapest, Hungary. Everything about the cruise was superb, especially the food. In fact, when people ask about the cruise, I go into a detailed description of the meals even before describing beautiful cities like Vienna or Prague or Budapest. We were a party of six and at dinner the first night we sat at a circular table for six in a corner in front of the floor to ceiling window in the large dining room. Delicious food and great views from appetizers through dessert. Dessert was a religious experience. Normally, we are not dessert eaters but good grief! These were good. See? I’m getting carried away about the food and neglecting the “Territorial Imperative”. There were no reservations for tables on the 150-passenger ship. We know it was a ship because the crew kept reminding us “you can put a boat on a ship but you can’t put a ship on a boat”. We sat at the same table the second night and enjoyed it so much that we sat there for breakfast the following morning, again for lunch and yet again for dinner. And then on the 3rd evening…………Sacre Blu! When we arrived for dinner, someone was sitting at OUR table! Yes, it was now OUR TABLE. Worse, there were only three of them at a table for six! The nerve! At another table, truth be told, it was another corner table for six with the same window views, we had the expected delicious dinner, drinks and, yes, dessert but there were occasional glances (glares?) at those trespassers. Our waiter kept tabs on the intruders also. He wondered why we were not at “our table”. This called for a plan of action for the future. This was not going to happen again! The strategy was simple as it involved one of us getting to the dining room as it opened at 6 p.m. - just when Happy Hour ended - and walking three steps out of the door of the lounge and into the dining room and claiming OUR table via the Territorial Imperative while the rest of us finished our drinks. We also had the same table at breakfasts because apparently, it was not in high demand for those meals. Thus, we had OUR table for the rest of the cruise and yes, we all sat in the same seats at the table after the 2nd night. Sadly, our cruise came to an end on a Saturday morning, and we spent the day touring Budapest (beautiful city), and flew home on a Monday. When we got home and looked at pictures posted on the Amawaterways Facebook site, the next cruise had already begun. Someone posted pictures of themselves, and they were sitting at OUR table with OUR wait staff and someone was in MY seat. Yeesh! I thought they would encase our table in glass for exhibition purposes because we were such fabulous guests. We had no right to that table when the cruise began but by day two it was “our” table. Why?
The idea for this essay came from Margaret and her friends discussing what I call “spot placement “at fitness classes. The term, "territorial imperative" came to mind. Research indicated that Robert Ardrey, first coined the phrase ‘Territorial Imperative’ in his 1966 book which just happens to be titled, The Territorial Imperative. Ardrey defines it as 'an area of space, whether water, earth or air which an animal defends as an exclusive preserve'. University of Victoria psychology professor Robert Gifford adds, “Most of the time most people claim a space and others tacitly agree to it.”
Margaret said that when someone hasn’t shown up for a few classes, people notice and ask each other if they know what happened to that person. “Who?” others say. “You know, the short lady with the long blond hair.” No one remembers her. Then, someone points to the spot where she always sits – behind Ruth. “Oh, her.” See? She is identified by “her spot”.
We humans like routine. We will gravitate to the same spot/place in a higher education class, a fitness class, exercise machines in the gym, pew in church, seats on excursion buses or tours, restaurants or cafes (when us “guys” go out to breakfast at our favorite breakfast cafe, we always sit at the same table), seats in a bar, tables on a river cruise, conference rooms, seats on a commuter train (advice, do not try this on a New York City subway train or bus), even unassigned parking spots. Most (all?) of us will choose a seat or a table or a spot when we begin that class, or fitness class, or gym exercise machine and try for the same one, same routine, every day and then one day……….just as its time for your favorite elliptical, a stranger is using YOUR elliptical.
Why? The frontal lobes of your brain get it started. It probably comes as no surprise that humans are creatures of habit. If you perform the same behavior a few times in a row then a habit is formed, meaning that the action or response becomes automatic. Our repeated behaviors literally become imprinted into our neural pathways. Every time we are consistent in behavior in a certain context, like every time we sit at the same “spot”, the link in our brain between the action and the context becomes stronger. That’s why habits are difficult to break. We usually develop habits that make us feel secure and comfortable, and so attempting to go against those habits is actually going against the way you’ve wired your frontal lobes. So, every time you sit down in the same “spot”, the more likely your brain is to automatically sit you down in in exactly the same place when you come back. As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do”.
This behavior is an expression of “territoriality.” Territoriality is a spatial organizing mechanism that expresses itself in some interesting ways. Usually, territoriality is thought of in terms of aggression and defense, such as when nations or gangs or Zumba participants fight, but actually its most common purpose is to keep the peace,” according to Robert Gifford.
You are probably stuck in your ways when it comes to seating preferences. Do you always sit in that same chair when you enter a conference room, select the same treadmill at the gym (now known as a fitness center), or choose the same side of the plane when pre-selecting a seat? Author’s note: While writing this I realized that I always choose seats on the left side (facing front) of the plane. Do you try to choose the same table at your usual coffee shop? Do you get annoyed when someone is using your “favorite” stall in the bathroom at the office? Yes, people really have favorite stalls.
We’ve gone from frontal lobes to territoriality and now to environmental psychology in seconds. Gifford found that most university and high school (if given the choice) students choose the same seat over and over. Their behavior reflects the act of developing small personal territories around a seat, which makes them feel more comfortable. He also observed that even if students can’t “personalize” their space and defend it against the invasion of other users when they are absent,” they still sat in the same place when present. He concluded that the choice of the same seat helps students gain control of their environment and achieve academic and personal goals with minimal interference. Once you’ve chosen a seat on the first day of classes, you’re more likely to continue using that same seat. One evolutionary reason for this is because it’s “safe ” according to Beth Brunmeir writing in Just So You Know. By sitting in that space originally and not finding any glaring issues, you have confirmed that the spot you are in is unlikely to produce a bad situation. If you sat by the open window the first day and a bee flew in an harassed you, then day two will require a change…….or, you could just close the window. We humans look for situations that are familiar and secure, and if the space has not caused negative consequences in the past, it can guarantee some degree of safety. Sometimes it may be the same room but a different subject class and the student will look for that same familiar seat used in the other class. A study by Gilles Clement of Lyon Neuroscience Research Center and Angie Bukley of International Space University wished to determine how fast students settle into a specific seat location—if they do at all. They studied students’ seat selection in a lecture hall over two academic programs for 19 and 44 days. Their findings demonstrated that students start settling into their preferred seats starting from the second day of class, and by the end of the first month in the longer course, almost all of the students were sitting in the same seat every time. Kennedy Horton, a college sophomore described an experience, “Recently, I got to one of my English classes a little later than usual (but still on time). I walked in and a girl was in my unassigned assigned seat. I didn’t know what to do. The way I saw it, I had only three options. I could leave the class, suck it up and just sit somewhere else, or throw her and the desk out of the window. My heart ached for latter, but I stayed. It was the angriest 75 minutes of my life”, she said.
Two-thirds of Americans are obsessive about one thing in particular in their homes – their spot on the couch. Author’s note: I disagree as I believe that a favorite side of the bed could be 99%. Anyway, a recent study of 2,000 people found that 66 percent admitted to having unofficial assigned seating throughout their homes. Conducted by OnePoll the survey revealed that most Americans would feel uncomfortable sitting anywhere else but their favorite spot. A quarter of participants added they’d politely claim the spot and ask an intruder to move, just like Sheldon did in the TV show, Big Bang Theory.
By the 2nd day of our annual “escape from winter in the Poconos” to Hilton Head Island we had our spots in the living room of our rental home just like at home. Margaret claimed her spot and I plopped down at the other end of the couch and that became my spot. And - that was where we sat when at “home” (aside from guests) for the next two months. And no, we don’t kick guests out of our “spots”, nor do we glare at them. However, a subtle strategy such as asking the guest who is sitting in “your seat” to go get to a beverage and then jumping into that spot when they leave the room works sometimes.
We used to sit in the same pew in church every week. When we would arrive and find someone in our pew, we would have to find alternative seating. So, get there early on Christmas and Easter. This alternative seating, in turn, was someone else’s “seat” probably setting off a chain reaction possibly including some non-Christian thoughts by some. Years later, I attended early morning services at a different church. Always sat in the back row (don’t we all?). For various reasons, I missed a couple of months. When I returned, people were sitting in “my “pew. No worries, there was plenty of room, so I sat at the other end of the pew. A few minutes later some people arrived and said pointedly to the people in “my” pew. “Oh! You didn’t save our seats”. I considered their behavior to be “pewtrid” and I presume they sat somewhere else to pray. If you move to a new town or city, as a new member of a congregation, it is sometimes a bit intimidating trying to find a pew to sit on, for fear of taking someone’s “assigned” seat.
Clearly, if you sit in or take someone else’s spot/space it will set off a chain reaction as people move to someone else’s “spot” and they move to someone else’s’ “spot” and ……. Apparently, fitness classes can turn into petri dishes of chain reactions or even war zones. You can have “the regulars” pointing at someone, while muttering “that new person took my spot” followed by silent seething. “Next week, I’ll come in earlier to reclaim my spot.” If you make this reductio ad absurdum, people could arrive as early as the night before to maintain possession of their “territory”. One might call the phenomenon, “Spot Identification”, in which rather than names, people are identified by their usual places. So we may hear: “She sits by the radiator”. Or, “that woman with the short brown hair who sits by the wall”. Or, “she knew it was Ellie’s spot at the front left, but took it anyway”. This might get confusing if there are multiple Ellies present. “Which Ellie?” “The Ellie who sit’s next to Carol”. “Oh”…….”Which Carol (there may be multiple Carols)? “The Carol who comes late every week”. As Margaret related to me one day. “Betsy said (in identifying a certain woman), ‘you know that person over here?” “But Margaret didn’t know the “person over here “because (as she explained), she’s in the front and I’m in the back”. Although, to be fair, occasional outbreaks of altruism can feature “Oh, this is your spot? You can have it.” So, they move and take someone else’s spot. It can get very tiring if you think about it because then one has to exercise after all of this. Heaven forbid that you miss a class and your friends can’t wait to tell you about someone. You ask “Who?” “The person who took your spot. Now she’s over there in Judy’s spot”. One December, a Christmas Tree took Margaret’s spot. She arrived on time as usual, walked to her spot and there was a fully decorated Christmas Tree standing in her spot. Clearly, she would have to take another spot but then this was someone else’s spot and they would take another spot and it set off that chain reaction. And, as Margaret explained the protocol to me - “the regulars” respect a spot so, if someone is absent, no one will take her spot. It’s sort of like a military formation honoring the lost plane or ship with an empty space. “We never know which of us will start the chain reaction. But one of us will”…….Colin Beavan
Evidently Zumba classes can resemble the Oklahoma Land Rush. As soon as the door to the room opens there is a charge to be in the front of the room. Arguments can occur. Settled by dueling Meregue steps at 10 paces? Yoga classes can also precipitate a crisis. There you are in a safe spot in the yoga room. It feels good relaxing to practice in the same spot every day or week. You’re close to your friends. Yoga is silence and meditation. Then come the inconsiderate nitwits, who invariably arrive late and proceed to talk…..loudly……..and will always plant themselves near you and you are no longer “safe”. They are not identified by names but merely as “the loud one(s)". Eventually, it may cost you your spot. You have to move …….chain reaction. “The soul becomes prudent by sitting and being quiet. “…… Aristotle reminds us.
So, we continually choose the same seats wherever we are and whenever we get the chance but why do we get upset when people take them from us?
One evolutionary reason for this, as we’ve noted, is because it’s “safe” and by moving to a new seat/spot we’re losing that feeling. By sitting in that space originally and not finding any glaring issues, you have confirmed that the spot you are in is unlikely to produce a bad situation. Humans look for situations that are familiar and secure, and if the space has not caused negative consequences in the past, they can guarantee some degree of safety. And then someone takes it away from you and upsets your equilibrium.
Of course, we have to mix things up every once in a while, to continue to evolve, but especially in situations around strangers or the unknown. We’re more likely to strike up a pattern of familiarity, like choosing the same seat, to feel some degree of safety. As we said, we are habit forming creatures and habits have to start somewhere so why not with a seat or place?
And then there is the tour bus or van which can be a minefield for potential seating kerfuffles. In the absence of reserved seating, experience indicates that on most tour buses people almost always take the same seats for the entire trip be it a day or a week. They may have lined up early, pre-boarding, in order to get seats on a particular side or right in front of the bus. On many trips, the bus is locked or attended at each stop, so people are told they can leave things at their seats (water bottles, jackets, umbrellas, etc.) thus claiming their territory. Kerfuffle alert there are “spot/seat thieves”, and it can be very awkward to have to retrieve your belongings when someone else had taken the seat you had previously occupied. Or, you may silently seethe or progress to be grouchy to plotting how to get the seat back at the next stop. However, when someone comes back late and delays the entire bus at multiple stops - that is idiocy, not a territorial imperative and their seats should be up for grabs, especially if they are in a prime location. Travel experts remind us that if there is NO assigned seating. It is first come, first seated if there are no personal belongings on the seats. Personally, I don’t care what the “experts say”. Once I sit there, it is “my spot” and I’m annoyed if it has been purloined.
The territorial imperative can even occur in an airport boarding area. You and your carry-on bags are planted there, it has become your seat. if you leave the seat for refreshments or a call to nature, that seat is the first one you look for when you return to the waiting area. If it is vacant, it’s yours’s again, otherwise the next one you choose will become your seat.
People like to have order. Balance of life, stress and indecision make it an easy to want some things to always be the same. It's just comforting to know you don't have to think about some things - they are always the same. Sleeping on the same side of the bed. Sitting in class. Familiar things. We like to have order in life when there is so much disorder. We like routine and familiarity and repeating certain behaviors makes us feel safer and more secure. When you sit in the same seat, not only are you interacting with your environment, but you are also creating a personal territory. You do this unconsciously as we’ve said, for many reasons. Mostly this helps you control the environment around you, especially if you feel out of place, which then helps you achieve goals with little interference. Although sometimes you can go too far with the territorial imperative. While researching for this essay, I looked up the term “spot possession” on the internet and someone noted while referring to spot possession, “As a psychiatrist, I diagnose mental illness. Also, I help spot demonic possession.”
Thus, the Territorial Imperative for all the reasons listed above and all the reasons yet to come and all the research about frontal lobes and environmental psychology can be summed up as “because I always sit there”.
Sources
https://jsyk.wordpress.com/2017/03/21/why-do-we-always-sit-in-the-same-seats/
https://qz.com/1349508/the-psychology-behind-why-you-always-want-to-sit-in-the-same-seat
https://medium.com/@wpdantes/why-do-i-choose-to-sit-in-the-same-spots-all-the-time-d52c27e07637
The Territorial Imperative
Robert Ardrey
