That’s Funny! I Don’t Remember Being Absent Minded.

  

Lack of Attention = Absentmindedness.

 

Now pay attention and don’t forget to keep this in mind.

 

When did I leave my keys in the refrigerator?

 

Absent-mindedness is where attention and memory come together……or apart as it were.  The Oxford English Dictionary cites the earliest evidence for the term absent-minded as 1824 in an essay by author, biographer, and historian Thomas Carlyle.  “Absence of mind "habitual or temporary forgetfulness". Absent-mindedness refers to a cognitive state where a person is forgetful or inattentive, often leading to lapses in memory or awareness in daily activities. Like when someone sprays the flowers in his garden with weed killer instead of Deer Out. This never happened to me. I’ve heard it takes a day or so for them to turn brown. This phenomenon can be caused by distractions, stress, or multitasking, making it challenging to focus on the present moment - like attempting open the door to your house with your car key fob. Lapses in attention directly relate to being absent minded.  Daniel L. Schacter and Chad S. Dodson, of the Harvard Psychology department, note in the riveting journal Psychonomic Bulletin & Review that in the context of memory, "absent-mindedness entails inattentive or shallow processing that contributes to weak memories of ongoing events or forgetting to do things in the future". You live in New York City.  There was 2 ft. of snow overnight. You have an important appointment today. Your focus is how long will it take to dig out your green Toyota Corolla which you parked down on the next block from your apartment two days ago? What are the road conditions?  Am I prepared for the appointment?  Will I find a parking spot there? Will I find a parking space when I get home? You’re not really focusing on the digging out the car part.  Many cars look similar when covered with 2 ft. of snow.  The size, shape and preliminary wiping indicate a green car. With 1/4 of the job complete, yes, it is a green Toyota Corolla. Unfortunately, it is not your green Toyota Corolla. The owner of this green Corolla will be either very grateful or very alarmed. Your green Corolla, you now recall, is parked four cars further down the block.  Never happened to me.  

People may be talking.  They may be yelling. They may be waving their arms and gesticulating. Their lips are moving. You are looking at them, but you are tuned out.  You may even be nodding and smiling in agreement, but you are not really paying attention although they probably think you are.  Yes, we are all masters of what I call, Open Eye Coma. It is not paying attention while seemingly paying attention, frequently for extended periods of time. We develop it during early childhood at home while ignoring our parents.  We begin to master the skill in school, and we continue to perfect it as we go through life.  There is even an official name. Psychologists call it Optimal Inattention.  My mother would call it “in one ear and out the other”.  I even experienced open-eyed coma as my eyes perused some rather obtuse scholarly papers and abstracts on attention and absent mindedness as I researched for this essay.  I would read the entire article. Well, most of it. Don’t remember a word of it. Lack of attention makes you absent minded. William James, the father of psychology, (Mary Whiton Calkins was the mother of psychology), said during the 19^th century, “Everyone knows what attention is. It's the taking possession by the mind in clear and vivid form of one out of what seems several simultaneously possible objects or trains of thought.” You are having breakfast with a group of people at a professional conference. Everyone is talking at once. You are trying to listen to overlapping conversations and - instead of the maple syrup - you pour the coffee from the silver-colored jug onto your French toast. Never happened to me. Abby receives a phone call from her friend, Lynn.  They talk for a few minutes.  Suddenly Abby says in panic. “I can’t find my phone!”  Lynn says, “you’re talking on it”.

Paying attention is the root of the issue and that leads us to attention span.  How is absent-mindedness related to attention? Thinking of other things, you put on your boxer shorts, but you are already wearing another pair of boxer shorts. Never happened to me. We know that our attention has a limited capacity according to Sanbonmatsu, Strayer, Biondi, Behrends, & Moore, 2015. One theory suggests that when our limited attentional resource is occupied, the rate of absent-mindedness may increase. This means pointing the wrong end of the remote at the TV set………….repeatedly. Never happened to me.

A brain region, the prefrontal cortex (PFC) selects what information to focus on. The frontal lobe is the part of the brain that helps people to organize, plan, pay attention, and make decisions. Parts of the frontal lobe may mature a few years later in people with ADHD. 

Our attention has limited capacity. When we are focusing on a specific behavior or activity, we end up paying little attention to other actions or events in our surroundings. Margaret was visiting the supermarket. The main objective was the purchase of raw almonds and walnuts. On the way to the nut shelves and almond land, she noticed an interesting Irish sharp cheddar cheese and then a brie in the cheese section and then recalled that she was low on Kedem Tea Biscuits. She went off to the biscuit aisle. Then she saw that wine was on sale. 15% off plus Senior Discount!  She browsed and purchased wine. They give you these nice little six bottle wine carry bags.  How thoughtful.  She saved quite a bit of money and was very happy with her purchases as she checked out. When she got home, I asked if the almonds were back in stock.  That’s the story she told.

Attention plays an important role in memory – we often forget things because we weren’t paying enough attention to them in the first place. Storing information in memory is called encoding. If you just attend to something superficially, that information is not encoded, you are not likely to remember it. 

In a now infamous 2015 report on attention span, the Consumer Insights team of Microsoft Canada claimed that the average human attention span was down from 12 seconds in the year 2000 to eight seconds in 2015. They claimed that is less than the nine-second attention span of your average goldfish. Sounds fishy.  It is fishy. It is not true. It is a myth and, as we all know, a myth is a female moth. The media, of course, was frothing over this report and it took 2 years for the report to flounder and be proven to be flukey fake.  Simon Maybin looked into the origins of the myth in a 2017 BBC article and discovered that there are no statistics to back it up.  None.  There is no evidence that goldfish - or fish in general have particularly short attention spans or memories, despite the attempted insertion into popular culture. Now, on the other hand, guppies………

When I was a speaker at science education conferences, I reminded my audiences that as a general rule, in a classroom, most children can focus for a number of minutes equal to their age + 2 minutes. Therefore a 7-year-old – 9 minutes, a 10-year-old, for 12 minutes, a 12-year-old can focus for about 14 minutes. In fact, adults cannot usually focus for more than 15-20 minutes at a time.  After this time the brain needs some time to process the information in a different way so you should change your approach, continue the message but deliver it differently. Or just give it a rest for a few minutes. Or tell a joke.  I never did that of course. Several authors claim that attention span declines precipitously after 10–15 minutes. As a result of those claims, it is often suggested that presentations/lectures/talks should last no more than 10–15 min to accommodate the biological set point of our attention span. I started thinking about some sermons in church.  Pay attention! The most recent attention span research indicates attention spans of 9–10 years old: 20-30 minutes, 11-12 years old: 25-35 minutes, 13-15 years old: 30-40 minutes, 16+ years old: 32-50+ minutes. 

Getting someone’s attention is not usually the problem.  Keeping it can be. People have an internal radio station, WIFM – What’s In it For Me.  Chances are that they will pay attention if there is something of value for them. 

Attention control is affected by how much attention we give each task.  We only have a finite amount of attentional resources, and each task requires different levels of attention. This can lead to absentmindedness, that cognitive bias, which is, as noted, the failure to attend to a task resulting in mistakes and forgetful behavior particularly when two tasks are being attempted simultaneously.  You put on a pot of water to boil. Then you throw in some pasta. As long as the pasta is heating up you might as well attend to other tasks. While you are in another room vacuuming, the smoke alarm goes off and you end up with charbroiled pasta. Although sometimes you fill the pot with water and attend to other tasks and think, “gee, is the water boiling?” When you check you realize that you did not turn the burner on after you filled the pot. Other times you forget to put the water in.  Life can be difficult sometimes. 

Multitasking often leads to absentmindedness. It is not always the positive attribute it is made out to be.  You’re holding your phone and a sandwich, and you bite the phone.   Or, you are holding a cup of coffee, you turn your wrist to check your watch, the cup of coffee is in the same hand as your watch. I saw that in a Laurel and Hardy movie but I’m sure it occurs every day in real life. Life imitates art.  You leave the house with lots on your mind and then have to turn around multiple times to check if you remembered your wallet, keys, phone. Never happened to me.

There are several factors that affect attention and lead to you being absent minded; 1. Lack of Focus and Concentration 2. Stress and Anxiety. Chronic stress and anxiety overload your mind and impair your memory. When you’re frazzled, your mind is preoccupied with worries and less able to concentrate on routine tasks.  3. Multitasking 4. Sleep Deprivation - Most adults need 7-9 hours of sleep per night to function at their best. Less than that, and your memory, focus and decision making suffer 5. Information Overload (see lectures, college) 6. Relying Too Much on Technology (a danger of Artificial Intelligence )7. Aging and Memory Decline  8. Medications and Health Issues  9. Poor Organization and Planning. 10. Boring lectures, conversations, instructions, people, movies, TV shows, books……….

 As for aging and memory decline, there is the story of the two elderly gentlemen having a conversation.  The first says, “I’m getting worried about my memory.  I find myself standing next to the bed. Was I getting up or lying down? I’m holding the refrigerator door.  Was I opening or closing it? I’m at my front door.  Was I going in or going out?”  The second gentleman says “Well I’m sharp as a tack.  Haven’t lost a thing.  Never will”.  He knocks on wood for good luck, turns around and says, “who is it?”

Informational overload, our brains can only process so much information at once. When you’re bombarded with emails, texts, social media alerts, and sensory overloads in general, your mind struggles to keep up. Important details start to slip through the cracks, such as the failure to flush the toilet. So, absent-mindedness is characterized by a temporary lapse in attention or memory, for a variety of reasons, often resulting in forgetfulness or a lack of awareness of one’s immediate surroundings like pouring dish soap powder on your spaghetti instead of parmesan cheese while engrossed in a Discovery Channel documentary on the courtship rituals of the Pacific Walrus  on your TV.  It’s not the same as Attention Deficit Disorder, which is a more persistent condition. Sometimes there is a failure to empty your pockets before doing the laundry as paper money, (coins make a lot of noise in the dryer…..is this money laundering?)  receipts, iPhone, pet chihuahua, etc. join with your clothes in the washer. Confession, some years ago I found out that iPods were not waterproof. Even putting it in the dryer after the wash cycle didn’t help. “I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.”…..George Burns……..

Absent-mindedness is typically temporary and doesn’t significantly impair overall cognitive function. It’s more like a brief hiccup, well in many cases several hiccups, in our mental processes, a momentary disconnect between our attention and our surroundings. You’re thinking about the day ahead and instead of milk, you pour the orange juice into the bowl of oatmeal.  Never happened to me. Doesn’t taste that bad though.

We’ve all been there – that moment of angst when you can’t remember where you parked your car in a parking lot and you walk up and down aisles of cars clicking your key fob so your car horn will honk and you realize the car is two rows over, or the sinking feeling when you realize you’ve forgotten an important deadline or phone call. These lapses in memory and attention are not just annoying.  They can have real consequences in our personal and professional lives like if you are on a cliff or edge of precipice or too close to a geyser. You were talking to someone and didn’t pay attention to the warning signs. You take a selfie.  You fall off/down/in.  You die. 

At its core, absent-mindedness is intimately tied to the workings of attention and memory. Our brains are constantly bombarded with information, and our attention acts as a filter, deciding what’s important enough to focus on. When this filter falters, or when our working memory becomes overloaded, that’s when absent-mindedness tends to rear its head. During Covid, you search online for the increasingly scarce antibacterial hand sanitizer wipes. You find them! Excited at your find, you order that pack of 200.  Great price too. You didn’t pay attention to the size. They are ½” x ½”.  Never happened to me. Good for cleaning your thumbnail though. I know someone who still has 180 or so left if you’re interested. 

As we’ve said (we have to repeat it so you won’t forget), absent-mindedness is a thought bias that happens when people “zone out” (open eye coma) and make mistakes in daily life (Broadbent, Cooper, FitzGerald, & Parkes, 1982). The mistakes can be anything related to a lack of attention, e.g., mistaking liquid hand sanitizer for eyedrops. Never happened to me. Note, it really hurts.

 Dictionaries define absentmindedness as an adjective: Unprepared or not paying attention. Synonyms includeoblivious, faraway, dreamy, distracted, abstracted, absent-minded, absent, ditzy, unmindful, heedless, distrait, preoccupied. You’ve boarded the plane from Paris to New York.  You survived the ordeal of security. Have I removed all the metal from my person?  You’ve bought overpriced items at the Duty-Free Store but at least you didn’t pay duty. You’ve survived the cacophony of sound in the waiting area. Your get on the correct line – section 3.  You have your passport ready. You just want to get on the plane and go. You board the plane. Will there be space in the overhead bin?  You find your seat. No one is in it. There is space in left in the overhead bin. The tension has eased, and you can finally relax. You reach in your shoulder bag to get your iPad.  It’s not there! You can’t find your iPad! Frantically, you search your bag. Not there. You stand up. Perhaps you sat on it. It is nowhere around your seat. You ask if you can leave the plane to look for it as boarding has just commenced.  No, you can’t.  But wait, a compassionate flight attendant allows you a few, escorted by him, minutes for a quick search.  You desperately check your seat and surrounding area in the lounge, and the last shop you visited.  Not there. The flight attendant looks at his watch.  You get back on the plane.  After takeoff you reach in your bag for a paperback book.  There, nestled underneath the book is the iPad. You missed it during your highly agitated rummaging.  After the fuss you made while searching you don’t want to take it out and have the flight attendants see you using it. You make the entire trip without using the iPad.  We’re not mentioning names Carol.  

When you are not paying attention to the task at hand, the memory is not encoded and stored, which means you’ll have a hard time recalling it. Although we believe ourselves to be talented multitaskers, the human brain is not wired to direct full attention to more than one task at a time. As a result, errors occur whether they are conscious or not. Other times, our desire to attend to a task is minimal resulting in low attentional resource allocation and higher rates of cognitive failure. You miss your exit while driving because you were searching for Elvis’ recording of Do the Clam on Spotify. Remember that the attention you are giving to each task is not equivalent.  When you multitask one task suffers, and mistakes occur. Moral of the story… stay focused on one task at a time! 

“I checked all around my house frantically for my glasses and couldn't find them ..until I realized that I was actually wearing them.” ……..A countless number of people over a countless number of years. 

Our attention has limited capacity. When we are focusing on a specific behavior or activity, we end up paying little attention to other actions or events in our surroundings such as when deep in thought while walking you accidentally march into a glass door. Most of us simply need to declutter our lives which is, of course, easier said than done. In fact we will probably forget to continue decluttering tomorrow unless we put little post it reminders to declutter all over the house. Thus, adding more clutter.  We can try to focus on the moment; manage stress; improve sleep, exercise and nutrition; and use cues and schedules to limit errors of absent-mindedness. Yes, we have all done it – forgotten someone’s name, left the house keys in the house, put something in the wrong drawer and spent forever looking for it, or that misplaced the car in the parking lot. And in all likelihood, we’ll do it again……… really soon. 

Lastly, Margaret related to me a story that she once saw on the internet. Quite a few years ago, a woman went into a small ice cream parlor in her Connecticut town. As she walked to the counter, she saw the famous, and handsome actor, Paul Newman sitting alone at a table enjoying an ice cream.  Determined to be casual about it, she continued to the counter and ordered an ice cream cone. Conspicuously pretending she didn’t see PAUL NEWMAN, she got her cone, paid, and collected her change.  When she got outside, she realized that she didn’t have her ice cream cone. She ran back inside and looked for her cone on the counter.  It wasn’t there. From his table, Paul Newman said, “you put it in your purse”. 

 

“What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.” …….Dan Quayle

 

Sources:

https://web.colby.edu/cogblog/2018/04/26/absent-mindedness-no-you-are-not-a-good-multitasker/

 

 https://www.eachbrainmatters.org/post/absent-mindedness

 

https://www.sambarecovery.com/rehab-blog/average-human-attention-span-statistics

 

https://www.believeinmind.com/personality/what-causes-absent-mindedness/

 

https://neurolaunch.com/absent-mindedness-psychology/

 

Picture from https://me.me/t/uninterested

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Many Chickens Are Eaten Each Day Worldwide?

 

Tastes Like Food for Thought

 

 

While thinking about food and meals, I have occasionally mused about how many chickens (Gallus gallus domesticus) are eaten each day worldwide. Haven’t you? Indeed, I have posed this question to friends. Sometimes I have posed the question to friends over dinner.  I get strange looks.  I don’t know why. Think of all the people in the world.  Think of all the restaurants.  Then, there are the billions who dine at home. That’s a lot of people and a lot of chickens. And then we do it all again tomorrow. For chickens, the daily count is extremely large – 202 million chickens bite the dust every day according to Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) and the United Nations’ Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO). To comprehend the scale, it is better to think in terms of the average per minute: 140,000 chickens are rendered kaput every minute. But fear not, you needn’t be overly concerned about a chicken shortage.  In 2020, according to data from that same Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations, the global chicken population was over 33 billion.

By the way, I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.  I’ll let you know which comes first.

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To knock, knock. Who’s there?, walk into the bar, and change the lightbulb…….There. That takes care of all the jokes. …….You’re welcome.

Why did the chicken cross the road?  Because it was free range……So I lied about the jokes. 

 

Relying on the infinite and occasionally reliable resource of knowledge that is the Internet, I posed my question about the chickens being eaten each day. Most of the “killed for food” information sites are run by various humane societies, so the word slaughter is used liberally as in “slaughtered every day” or “during a year”.   Further reading at the same sites will usually extoll the benefits of vegetarianism or veganism.  So, then I asked the question, “How many vegetarians are eaten each day in the world?”  The answer was, “404 WE'RE SORRY—THAT PAGE COULD NOT BE FOUND”. …..see our Essay. Error Code 404.

I then asked, “how many vegans are eaten each day in the world?” Here’s what I got………The statement "how many vegans are eaten each day in the world" is factually incorrect as vegans, by definition, do not eat meat or animal products, so they cannot be "eaten" by anyone; the correct interpretation is that no vegans are eaten each day in the world because vegans do not consume animal flesh”.  So there.

 

Back to chickens. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she saw what you did to her eggs………….. Really, I’m trying to stop.

How about eggs? According to the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) of the United Nations, the global per capita consumption of eggs in 2020 was estimated to be around 153 eggs per person a year. This means that around 1.2 trillion eggs were consumed worldwide in 2020. Naturally that also includes our friend, Jerry Benincasa’s, impressive intake of spinach omelets.  And that’s no yolk. Speaking of omelets, you will recall that original title of William Shakespeare’s most famous play was , “Omelet”.   But we digress. We investigated egg consumption by country (are eggs “slaughtered”?) and Japan wins! How about the good old USA?  According to World Population Review Overall, the United States is relatively close to the top of the list in terms of the number of eggs eaten. However, the United States is not anywhere close to the top of the list in terms of the number of eggs eaten per person.   The hard-boiled answer is there are a lot of countries that consume more eggs than the United States. Per capita, the US ranks 22^nd sunny side up, beaten by such countries as Paraguay, Qatar, Mexico, and Luxembourg. Those Luxembourgers, there are 673,000 of them, always scramble for their eggs. Of all the things that taste like chicken, it's odd that eggs aren't one of them.  

 

According to the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization, pork is the most widely eaten meat in the world (36%) followed by poultry (33%) per day…….What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion……..I’m thinking of joining a support group for chicken jokeism…. then beef (24%), and goats/sheep (5%).  Not totaled are rabbits, geese, ducks, pigeons and other birds, buffalo, horses and other animals. This means that every 24 hours, it is broadly estimated between 3.4 and 6.5 billion animals are killed for food. That comes to a lower end estimate of 1.2 trillion animals killed every year. That’s a very impressive number. For contrast, anthropologists estimate that the total number of human beings who’ve ever existed is just 117 billion. The global shift from red to white meat can be explained, in part, by simple economics: Chickens and pigs convert feed to meat more efficiently than cattle and are thus much cheaper to raise.

 

The practice of eating cats and dogs (they are among the “other animals”) has become less common as pet ownership rises, and new generations have different attitudes to eating domestic animals. But an estimated 30 million dogs across Asia, including stolen family pets, are still killed for human consumption every year, according to the Humane Society International.  While not widespread, the society says the practice is most common in China, South Korea, The Philippines, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia and the region of Nagaland in India. They also eat cats in Vietnam and China.  Evidently, they eat everything in China. 

 

While we’re on the subject of meat, how about cannibalism? - About 1.45 million years ago, it was not unusual for our ancient human relatives to dine on one of their own. They usually feasted on meat from a shinbone, according to cut marks that constitute the oldest decisive evidence that our ancestors butchered and made a meal out of one another - according to a recent study published at Lifescience.com. Cannibalism has been well documented in much of the world, including Fiji (once nicknamed the "Cannibal Isles"), the Amazon Basin, the Congo, and the Māori people of New Zealand. Cannibalism was also practiced in New Guinea……well just about everywhere. Aside from Hannibal Lecter, it’s rare (not medium well?) but it’s still there.  Three people in Brazil were arrested a few years ago for making empanadas out of human flesh.  One of the most famous examples of survival cannibalism involved the Donner party. In 1846, 87 pioneers led by George Donner left Independence, Missouri, bound for California. In December, while taking a short cut recommended by Donner, they became trapped by heavy snow in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Facing starvation, the people eventually resorted to cannibalism. There is a frozen food joke here we think.  In the past, cannibalism was practiced in Oceania, Africa, South America, North America and Asia but evidently, not Antarctica.   Probably because there were no people in Antarctica. 

 

Okay……….how about the most commonly eaten food each day in the world?  You guessed it.  Rice. Rice is a food staple for more than 3.5 billion people around the world, particularly in Asia, Latin America, and parts of Africa. Then comes corn (maize), wheat, roots, tubers and spam….just kidding about the spam. Corn and wheat can also give us cereal.  The Roman goddess, Ceres, was considered the protector of grain. The term "cereal" comes from her name. When she ate breakfast, she was a cereal killer. But we digress.  Potatoes are also a staple food in many parts of Europe, with the average person consuming about 18 pounds per year. At the same time, cassava, a root vegetable, is more common in Africa and is eaten by about half a billion people daily. And don’t forget pasta?  Pasta is one of the most consumed foods and it is usually created from durum wheat and eggs. Yes, “dining is full of pasta-bilities"……I didn’t say that.  Not surprisingly, Italy is the largest consumer of pasta per capita. Surprisingly, number two is Tunisia. The U.S is number seven behind Venezuela, Greece, Peru, and Chile. The average American consumes approximately 20 lbs. of pasta annually.  And yes, spaghetti is the most popular pasta in the world.  “Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”, Doug Larson

 

Then we started thinking about fast food consumption. The top five countries in the world are 1- The United States, 2- The United Kingdom, 3- France (ironically, the home of the renowned French Cuisine), 4- Sweden and 5- Austria…… Each Austrian eats approximately 30 Wiener Schnitzels a year. Breaking down fast foods, we find that according to the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA), Americans consume an average of 2.4 hamburgers per day, which is about 720 million burgers per year but that includes cheeseburgers. How about hot dogs?  Well, we mustard up the courage to find out. The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (yes that’s a thing) estimates Americans consume over one billion (mostly at Coney Island on July 4 by one guy) hot dogs a year - more than twice the retail sales figures. That works out to about 70 hot dogs per person each year. Clearly some people really like their hot dogs.  Hot dogs are served in 95 percent of homes in the United States. According that same National Hot Dog Sausage Council (NHDSC), “Sandwich rolls, or hot dog buns, most often come eight to the pack because the buns are baked in clusters of four in pans designed to hold eight rolls and yet we get 10 hotdogs in a pack.” Well, worry no longer! The Heinz and Wonder companies have teamed together in the Heinz Hot Dog Pact. …..similar to the United Nations Charter…….in which a  major hot dog company and a major bun company agree on a single number of products per package—10. Whew! “If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?”, John Cleese

 

As we continue to digest our fast-food information, we note that in the United States alone, over one billion pizzas are consumed each year. If you want to throw around the word, “slaughtered” just see and taste what they do to “pizza” at any fast-food chain pizza outlet. 

 

We turn to seafood.   I don’t eat seafood. There is one exception, Fish and Chips – haddock- when I’m in the UK, although I miss having it served in newspaper smothered with vinegar. But I digress. While viewing (mute button pushed) a Red Lobster commercial, I was reminded of  the chicken query and wondered, how many lobsters are eaten worldwide each day? Evidently, lobsters are not slaughtered, they are “harvested”. The United States was the largest importer of lobster in 2021, at around 31,968 tons. China, South Korea and Italy respectively ranked second, third and fourth. However, Maine, the lobster capital of the U.S, “harvests” 100+ million pounds of lobster each year. Presumably harvested lobsters are consumed so those numbers would provide a general answer to the question about how many are eaten. 

 

“It was a bold man that first ate an oyster”, said Jonathan Swift in 1738. Yup, a muddy shell taken from the bottom of the sea, cracked open to reveal a grey slimy object…sounds and looks positively scrumptious. Over the centuries, the bivalve has been consumed by members of all economic and social classes, all over the globe for its alleged aphrodisiacal and proven medicinal qualities. King Louis XIV of France ate 100 or so in one sitting while the famous lover, Casanova gobbled 50 or more every evening. Colin Shirlow, known as The Oyster King, made the Guinness World Record in 2005 for the most oysters eaten in 3 minutes. He devoured an astounding 233 oysters! The oyster was also at one time a staple diet of the poor. Most websites agree that around 2 billion oysters are eaten worldwide each year. Environmentally, each oyster can filter 50 gallons of water per day.

 

And crabs? Crabs make up 20% of all marine crustaceans caught, farmed, and consumed worldwide, amounting to 1.5 million tons annually. One species, Portunus trituberculatus, accounts for one-fifth of that total………..We turn our attention to fish. "I'm in the mood for fish, but I don't want anything that tastes fishy."……..anonymous restaurant customer. What about fish consumption? Like the lobster and crabs, we’re equating the number of fish caught with the number eaten per year.  The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO), which tracks global livestock statistics, measures fish production in weight, not number of animals. The FAO’s numbers only include farmed fish, and it’s between 211 million and 339 million gobbled up.  Researchers Alison Mood and Phil Brooke attempted to quantify the number of wild fish caught every year, first by pulling data from multiple sources and then by converting the total weight of wild fish to an estimated number of animals. For wild fish they came up with between 3 billion and 6 billion per year!  We’re not sure which “scale” they used. Tuna, cod, salmon, Alaska pollock and shrimp account for around 44% of the total volume consumed. However, the most captured fish is the Peruvian anchovy.  They are turned into fish oil for feed and capsules, as well as fishmeal, mainly used in aquaculture (fish farming). In the US, shrimp (a shellfish, so technically not a fish) is the most commonly eaten seafood followed by salmon, tuna, tilapia, pollock, pangasius (used as a substitute for cod or halibut), cod and catfish. Worldwide, 3.1 billion people rely on fish for 20% of their daily protein intake, with some coastal communities reliant on fish for upwards of 70%.  Americans consumed 6.3 billion pounds of seafood in 2019. And you thought chickens have it tough. 

 

Having enjoyed our main meal, what is the most eaten dessert in the world?  Ice cream of course.   Chocolate ice cream is apparently esteemed by 93% of the countries analyzed, with 113 out of 121 countries searching for chocolate ice cream more than any other flavor. Chocolate chip cookies are the number one dessert in the USA.  Brownies are the most popular in the UK while macaroons are the fastest-growing dessert*** in the world. 

Of course, “turnabout is fair play” (first said by one Captain Dudley Bradstreet in 1755). 

What animal kills and eats the most humans? The saltwater and Nile crocodiles are responsible for more attacks and more deaths than any other wild predator that attacks humans for food. Each year, hundreds of deadly attacks are attributed to the Nile crocodile as they chomp away within sub-Saharan Africa. "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my". Tigers have attacked and killed more people than any other large cat. In the early 20th century, one Bengal tigress killed 436 people. Lions, bears….polar bears, brown bears, black bears and sloth bears ….also run up an impressive human chow down count with polar bears in the lead.  Then we have dingoes, hyenas, pythons, piranha, Komodo dragons, and sharks….Great White, Tiger, Bull, Sand, (the appropriately named) Requiem Shark, and Black Tip shark that are partial to human flesh. 

 

We spend more money on antacids than we do on politics.” — John Boehner.  Having noted the dazzling amount of billions and millions of food consumed, there is a price to pay for all that food. The global antacids market size was calculated at $7.47 billion in 2024.  According to market surveys, antacid use is common in the general population. This study of antacid use in a university-based family-practice clinic supported the conclusion. In a sample of 731 adult patients, 51.3% reported taking antacids at least once in the previous six months and 10.9% took antacids daily.  Tums© produces over six billion tablets. More than 60 million bottles or rolls are sold every year. “The secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." - Mark Twain

 

And finally, one last chicken joke. A chicken is laying in the middle of the road, tire marks crisscrossing her body, a group of people are standing around her, looking down at her.

With her dying breath, she raises her head and says to them “Don't ask”.

 

 

 

***Beware the Internet. While researching this essay about food, one Google search revealed the following:

“People also ask

What is the tastiest desert in the world?

What is the deadliest desert?

What do you usually eat desert?

What is the number 1 desert in America?”

 

Naturally, I then queried “what is the most eaten dessert in the desert?” Answer- fresh fruit salad, fruit sorbet, or a simple yogurt parfait.  

 

 

 

Sources:

 

https://ourworldindata.org/how-many-animals-get-slaughtered-every-day

 

https://sentientmedia.org/how-many-animals-are-killed-for-food-every-day/

 

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/25-most-consumed-foods-world-105336570.html#

 

https://a-z-animals.com/animals/lists/animals-that-eat-humans/

 

https://www.precedenceresearch.com/antacids-market

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Washington’s Birthday, Not Presidents’ Day.

How and when did George’s and Abraham’s birthdays morph into President’s Day?  Presidents' Day is not the official name of the holiday. While the name “Presidents' Day” was proposed for the Monday holiday in 1951, the U.S. government with its typical efficiency never officially changed the name. The  change evolved during the 1980s, thanks to advertising campaigns for holiday sales which featured actors dressed as Washington and Lincoln selling cars and mattresses and kitchenware as well as in advertisements for discounts on appliances, blue tooth noise canceling headphones and Martha Stewart Towel Collections using the names of our 1^st and 16^th presidents. "Well gee whiz, if that mattress was good enough for George Washington, it must be good enough for me." After all, think of all the places he slept.  Gradually, the concept of  "Presidents' Day" insinuated insinuated itself into the public consciousness and became popularized and now, largely accepted.

Once upon a time, February contained two holidays - Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday on February 12 (1809), and George Washington’s Birthday on February 22, 1732. Washington’s Birthday was a national holiday per an 1879 act of Congress.  Lincoln’s birthday was never a national holiday but was celebrated as a state holiday in many states........although not many in the South. There have been several attempts in Congress to get Lincoln his own national holiday, but none have succeeded. Now, more states celebrate Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) than Lincoln’s birthday. In fact, as of 2023, 18 states have days off for state employees for Black Friday.

In 1971, the Uniform Monday Holiday Law shifted the celebration of several federal holidays from specific dates to a series of predetermined Mondays. Now, thanks mostly to retail sales, Presidents' Day is popularly viewed as a day to celebrate all U.S. presidents, past and present. The Uniform Monday Holiday Act also included a provision to combine the celebration of Washington’s birthday with that of Abraham Lincoln which fell on February 12.  Lincoln’s Birthday had long been a state holiday in places like Illinois.

 So, almost everyone now refers to the holiday as “Presidents’ Day” and consider it a day honoring all American presidents.  However, neither the Uniform Holidays Act nor any subsequent law changed the name of the holiday from Washington’s Birthday to Presidents Day. This holiday is designated as “Washington’s Birthday” in section 6103(a) of title 5 of the United States Code. 

George Washington’s Birthday was first declared a federal holiday in 1879 by an Act of Congress. While it may seem like the entire nation observes “Presidents’ Day,” Virginia, Illinois, Iowa, Florida, and New York specifically recognize the third Monday in February as “Washington’s Birthday” or “George Washington Day." Some states, such as Virginia, his home state, celebrate Washington’s birthday the entire month of February. Not to be outdone,  the city of Laredo, Texas, also has an annual Washington Birthday Celebration that began in 1898.  It also lasts the entire month although the schools are not closed, we presume.

Washington’s Birthday officially honors the life and work of the first president of the United States. The celebration of his birthday began during the last year of his presidency in 1796. February 22 became a time to honor Washington, though informally, until 1880, a year after it was made the first federal holiday to honor a person by the Forty-fifth Congress.

Since it is now referred to as “President’s Day”  we honor all of our presidents, although we have yet to see Franklin Pierce selling cars, we present some vitally important information to share with your friends as we celebrate some of our presidents.

·      Millard Fillmore #13 (1850-1853) refused an honorary degree of Doctor of Civil Law from Oxford, saying, "No man should accept a degree that he cannot read.” Fillmore always carried a dictionary in his pocket. Fillmore was the last Whig president. The party’s attempts to re-brand itself as The Toupée Party failed and they ultimately would join the newly formed Republican Party.

·      James Garfield #20 (1881) was ambidextrous and multilingual, and he was able to write in Greek with one hand and Latin in the other at the same time.

·      Presidents John Adams #2 (1797-1801 and Thomas Jefferson #3 (1801-1808)  died hours apart from each other — on the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1826

·      Jefferson, #3 invented the swivel chair to make work more comfortable.

·      Adams #2 (1797-1801) and wife, Abigail, named their dog, “Satan”.

·      George Washington’s #1 (1789-1797) dentures were not made of wood, but rather of ivory, gold, and human and animal teeth, among other materials. 

·      John Quincy Adams #6 (1825-1829) only agreed to speak with Anne Royal, the first woman to interview a president, after she commandeered his clothes during one of his daily baths in the Potomac River.

·      James Polk (#11) was the first president to retire after one term and not seek re-election. Polk had promised not to run for a second term and rightfully claimed to have achieved his major policy goals in four years.  

·      Zachary Taylor #12 (1849-1850) is the only president whose remains were exhumed. A medical examiner tested for poisoning in 1991. After reviewing the results, the examiner determined that he had not been poisoned. The culprit was cholera morbus, a bacterial infection of the small intestine. Also, “Old Rough and Ready “never voted in an election prior to being on the ballot himself.

·      Andrew Jackson #7 (1829-1837): Once killed a man in a duel. The deceased was Charles Dickinson who had insulted Jackson's wife, Rachel. Dickinson was a crack shot and wounded Jackson. The future president then fired but his pistol jammed.  In a major breach of the dueling code, the "code duello", Jackson re-cocked his pistol and killed Dickinson.  

·      Ulysses S. Grant #18 (1869-1877) was born Hiram Ulysses Grant, but changed his name because he did not like his monogram, HUG.  Grant was invited to join Abraham Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre on the fateful evening of April 14, 1865, but was forced to decline because he and wife, Julia, made plans to visit their children in New Jersey. In 1872, as President, Grant was pulled over and fined $20 for exceeding the Washington speed limit ... on a horse.

·      James Madison, #4 (1809-1817) was the shortest president at 5’4” and weighed barely over 100 pounds. Abraham Lincoln at 6'4" was the tallest. 

·      Grover Cleveland #22 & #24 (1885 – 1889 and 1893-1897) personally answered the White House phone.

·      Franklin D. Roosevelt #32 (1933-1945) was very superstitious and suffered from triskaidekaphobia (aka the fear of the number 13), so much so that he would refuse to travel on the 13th day of any month.

·      Benjamin Harrison #23  (1889-1893):  Was the first president to hire a female White House staffer.

·      Rutherford B. Hayes #19  (1877-1881) was the first to host an Easter egg roll.

NiRichard Nixon's  #37 (1969-1974) favorite snack was cottage cheese with ketchup.

·      Herbert Hoover # 31 (1929-1933) and his wife, Lou, lived in China before he was president. The couple spoke Mandarin together in the White House when they didn’t want to be overheard by staff or visitors.  Hoover was the first president to be born west of the Mississippi River…..Iowa.

·      Gerald Ford # 38 (1974-1977) Gerald Ford was the first president to host a prom. It was for his daughter Susan's school.

·      Eight presidents were born before the United States was a country. The first born in the new republic was Martin Van Buren #8 (1837-1841). Van Buren was born in 1782 in Kinderhook, New York.

·      Our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, (1861-1865) was the first to be born outside of the 13 original colonies. Lincoln was born in Kentucky. He also shares a birthday with the naturalist, Charles Darwin who was also born on February 12, 1809 in Shrewsbury, England.

·      James Buchanan #15 (1857-1761), was the only president who never married.

·      John Tyler #10 (1841-1845) was the first vice president to become president after a president’s death, succeeding William Henry Harrison as president in April 1841. He is also the president who had the most children with 15 (2 marriages).

·      The first president ever born in a hospital was President Jimmy Carter #39 (in 1924).

·      Calvin Coolidge # 30 (1921-1929) was the only president to be born on July 4. Known as a man of few words and nicknamed “Silent Cal”, Coolidge, replied, “You lose,” to a visitor who bet she could get at least three words out of him.

·      Ronald Reagan #40 (1981-1989) starred in the movie, Bedtime for Bonzo in 1951.

·      Harry S. Truman #33 (1945-1953) had a middle initial but no middle name.

·      And lastly, a question for you. Which state has produced the most presidents?

·      Of course, you knew it is Ohio with eight presidents: William Henry Harrison, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James Garfield, Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley, William Howard Taft and Warren G. Harding

Enjoy your Washington’s Birthday.

 

Sources:

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/49694/45-odd-facts-about-us-presidents

https://www.cavalierdaily.com/article/2024/02/top-10-tidbits-you-didnt-know-about-us-presidents

https://www.mountvernon.org/george-washington/facts/the-truth-about-presidents-day#:~:text=However%2C%20Presidents'%20Day%20is%20not,became%20popularized%20and%20largely%20accepted

 

 

Error Code 404 - "Not Found". To Err is Human. To Error Code is the Computer's Fault

 

 

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,

But in that fakakta computer, that we are underlings”……… Cassius, Julius Caesar (Yiddish version)

Apologies to William Shakespeare…. 

 

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed. 

Frustration…….The feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.  

There you are merrily typing and internet surfing, internet researching and internet shopping including 3D virtual try ons, and just internet internetting away and suddenly everything comes to an abrupt halt. There it is. Error Code 404……”Not found.” Amelia Earhart, Jimmy Hoffa, D.B Cooper, Henry Hudson, Montezuma’s Treasure, and The Roanoke Colony are not found either. How did we/you get to this frustrating tempted to bang your head on the machine and throw it out the window unfortunate situation?  Blame Tim Berners-Lee.  In 1989 Sir Tim Berners-Lee invented the World Wide Web while at CERN, the European Particle Physics Laboratory, aka the place that makes tiny, tiny, itty bitty things like protons go really really fast through miles long tunnels. On April 30, 1993, four years after publishing a proposal for “an idea of linked information systems,” computer scientist Berners Lee released the source code for the world’s first web browser and editor thus making it free in the public domain. The original name, Mesh, lacks a certain cachet so he named the browser the Worldwide Web.  The web was originally conceived and developed to meet the demand for automated information-sharing between scientists in universities and institutes around the world.  Now we have Instagram and Tik Tok and Influencers. Berners-Lee imagined using hypertext plus the Internet to create a global “public square” where anyone, anywhere, anytime, could communicate anything. We noticed that on the initial announcement via email that the WWW would be free to all includes  a link that says ………“Help 101”. 

 Berners-Lee  also came up with HTTP, which stands for Hypertext Transfer Protocol and so we dive into alphabet soup of computerese.. HTTP status codes were first established by the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) in 1992. Berners-Lee based the HTTP status codes on FTP (File Transfer Protocol) status codes, which were already well established by 1990.

"When you write code for a new system, you don’t waste too much time writing long messages for the situations in which you detect an error,” said Robert Cailliau, a pioneer of the World Wide Web, with Berners-Lee, of the hypertext structure that led to the web.

“Memory was at the time a large issue, and long messages were seen as impractical.

So the solution was straightforward: designate numerical ranges for error categories.” And this was done, according to Cailliau, "according to the whims of the programmer."

Not long after it appeared, the 404 error code began to enjoy, and at the same time, endure, its share of popularity. HTTP/3 is the latest version of HTTP, which was published in 2022. 

None of which helps us when we come to a sudden crash on our phone, notebook or desktop.

 Pay attention! 404 is an HTTP status code. Every time someone visits a web page, you, via the browser, you are requesting data from a server. A server is a computer program or device that provides a service to another computer program and its user, also known as the client. Quite often you are the client, just like with a lawyer or the hairdresser you are the client. But before the web page can be displayed, the web server has to send the HTTP header first. The HTTP header contains the status code of said page and will convey essential details like the client browser, requested page, and server with each HTTP request or response, all of which takes place faster than you can read this. 

When a specific HTTP request has been successfully completed, it is given by the HTTP response status codes. The process takes seconds while your device shows the spinning circle or hourglass.  The evil, “404 not found” error is an HTTP status code that indicates that the browser was able to communicate with a given server, but the server could not find what was requested. Not finding something on line can be similar to  to a real-life experience of when you went to the library to request the book, Cooking and Contemplating with Soren Kierkegaard. They couldn't find it. The computer error may also occur if the URL, (Uniform Resource Locator), is not recognized in the browser.  Don’t you hate to go without recognition?  All you care about is that you can’t get the stupid information you requested and might need, and your work has come to a halt or worse…..it’s gone.  While the dreaded 404 is the most common error code, be of good cheer. As of this writing there are 15,841 Error Codes. That’s just Windows.  Then there are Apple Error Codes. We counted 167 but if we miscounted that would be Error Code 1+2=5

When you get there or don’t get there as the case may be, responses are grouped into five classes. 

·      Codes beginning with 1 are for a process that's happening but hasn't finished yet. Spinning circle or hourglass. You probably won’t see this one.

    Codes beginning with 2 are for a process that was successfully completed.  You probably won’t see this one either. 

·      Codes beginning with 3 are for a process that hasn't completed because you need to do something more on your end…..for example you left out your zip code for your address or you forgot to check the agree box under all that incomprehensible prose in size 5 font. Remember, the most common lie on the planet Earth is “I have read the terms and conditions.”  “Agree”

·      Codes beginning with 4 are for a process that didn't work because you did something wrong on your end. Silly you. 

·      Codes beginning with 5 are for a process that didn't work because something went wrong on the remote server's end. Silly them. 

·      Codes beginning with 6 –Well, actually there are no “6” Error Codes.  We added this one for Unforced Errors as you will soon see. 

 It boils down to:

1xx Informational

2xx Successful

3xx Redirection i.e 301 Moved Permanently, or 302 Found

4xx Client Error i.e “401 Unauthorized” or, our favorite, “404 Not Found”, or 410 “Gone”.

5xx Server Error i.e 500 Internal Server Error” or “502 Bad Gateway” or 503 “Bad Bad Gateway” 

6xx Unforced Error –Self inflicted  Just like in tennis when you hit an easy return of serve and it conks the ball girl in the head.

 As we have seen, individual numbers were assigned in the order that made the most sense at the time.

So 400’s are the most basic “your-end errors”, meaning the code was bungled and couldn't be understood, sort of like trying to understand cryptocurrency.

401-403 mean "you're not allowed to look at this." i.e. the “Puritan Error Code”.  401 means "you're not allowed to look at this because you didn't identify yourself properly." 402 wasn't implemented but would have meant "you're not allowed to look at this because you didn't pay." You’ll always pay in some way, won’t you?

403 means "you're not allowed to look at this, even if you did identify yourself properly. We’ll call this the Government Secret Code.

Then 404, which means the address you typed in wasn't found. So far as the system is concerned, you typed in the wrong address. (Yes, it might have once existed, or it might be down, but at the moment your input is what looks to be wrong.)

Should this occur, the Tech Target website advises you to: 

·     1. Double-check the URL for typos. Only one mistyped character can result in a 404 error. For example, check whether .htm should be .html or vice versa.

·      2.Refresh the webpage. 404 errors might be a momentary glitch. This is basically a “do over”. 

·     3. Search the web. Try to find the page through a web search, since it may have moved to a different URL.

·      4.Use another device. It is possible there is a client error or issue with the user's browser. If the page works on another device, clear the first device's cache and cookies.

·      5.Go to the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine. Users can access this site to see what a specific URL looked like in the past.

And we add: 

·     6. Attack computer/iPad/phone with ball peen hammer and then jump up and down and stomp the computer/iPad/phone.

 

Frustration and occasionally panic set in.  How to fix this.  “I was at the computer for 2 hours today.  10 minutes of work and the rest of the time figuring out and then fixing an Error Code.” 

Unfortunately, sometimes all you get is the system error code but nothing about what the code means! Once you know what the code means (below), you can then work on fixing the problem. When you look at a website, your web browser must find the server where the website's data is stored. Then it must bring the data onto your computer and assemble it on your screen for you to use. There are a lot of things that can happen when you do this. Some are good, some are bad. To keep them in order and make them useful, we have the error codes. 

No, 404 is not one worse than 403 error or one better than a 405 error.

For a normal web page, the status is "200 OK". Visitors of the web that see a web page up and running. You won't see this status code because the server proceeds by sending the visitor the contents of the requested page. Status codes are only visible when errors happened somewhere.

In the interest of public service and always anxious to help, we have produced some sample Error Codes that you may encounter in the Cyber World 

 Error Code –408 (minus 1) (Mistakes you made on your end) ….”Call Your Bank”.  – The consequence of changing your credit/debit card on 7 accounts and forgetting to change it on the 8th account you use for auto pay.

 Error Code  600.12  …Unforced Errors (self inflicted)……Results when you go on line to  diagnose your illness or pain instead of calling a doctor and find you have pneumonia, tuberculosis, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, Bubonic Plague, heart disease, acid reflux, dementia, a fungal infection and halitosis. 

·      Error Code 476…… results from failing to check that autocorrect has autocorrected you incorrectly. You wrote crutch.  Autocorrect changed it to crotch. Or, you wrote He’ll. Autocorrect changed it to Hell. 476. Our neighbor texted her friend in Florida to plan dinner. She wondered if she ever had alligator? She had. Our neighbor, Jan, asked if it tasted like chicken? She sent back,” WHAT!!!???” Autocorrect sent her ,” tastes like children".

·      Error Code 608 – Unforced Errors ……Failure to use spell check or grammar check for your emails or social media posts.  Makes you look stoopid. 

·      Error Code 609  –Unforced Errors….. Everything on the internet must be true.  Right? 

·      Error Code 600.1 – Unforced Errors…..Using your birthday as a password.  Using the word “password” as your password is even worse. 

·      Error Code 611 – Unforced Errors – “2 Good 2 Be True” results from not checking the “sender” of that email. It’s from Amazon.com/Chang Wu Fu/. “There is an error in your delivery details, send us your credit card and Social Security numbers, sincerely, the Amazon Team.”   

·      Error Code 452 Minus 7 – You have completed your 3rd book, but you forgot to save Chapter 7.  It’s gone. We know someone who did this.  Right Dr. Brian Cafarella?

·      Error Code 444 – You’ve gone to Kindle Publishing, published your book and then afterwards you notice that (your) sloppy editing in several of the essays contains “notes to self” with a thought list for organizing the essay.  You can’t change it. “No Backsies”. You have to wait until it is published.  Then you have to wait, wait, wait and wait some more. Finally, you can go in and change it and have it published again.  Meanwhile the thousands of people who purchase the book will see “notes to self”. This never happened to me.

·      Error Code 3 + Code 404, aka the “Procrastination Code” - Ignoring software updates. I’ll do it tomorrow.

·      Error Code 313 – Not completed.  Failure to back up your data/computer. The save button is there for a reason. 

·      Error Code 100/FBI – Informational as your screen tells you, “You haven’t gotten any error messages lately.  Here is a random one just to let you know that we’re watching. “Thank you”, Sincerely, Alexa

·      Error Code 662 – Unforced - Self Inflicted  Successfully completed.  ………”You’ve won a 55” TV set and an iPhone!” Click the link below.” Giving out personal information. Especially about credit card numbers, bank account numbers, and banking information to suspicious websites. 

·      Error Code 662.1.  Unforced - Self Inflicted…………Using public WIFI for personal information. Yup, just put your credit card number on that clothing order you made at the coffee shop. 

·      Error Code 662.2 -– Successfully completed.  Unforced.  Error Code 2 +2 = Dumb………Whoops, you put too much Personal Information and or photos on social media. Appears to inordinately affect adolescents, Gen Z and Millenials. 

·      Error Code 662.3 – Self Inflated. You hit “reply all” on the email and your reply included a reference to someone on the list as “a slut”. 

·      Error Code 662.4 - Self Inflicted. Getting into arguments with people on social media, especially with strangers. This is also known as the “George Bernard Shaw Code” as he famously said, “Never wrestle with a pig because you'll both get dirty and the pig likes it.”

·      Error Code  301.1 – Redirection. The screen informs you, “Oy Vey! – Give it up.”

·      Error Code  505 – Server Error  Your screen informs you that “Keyboard not responding.  Press any key to continue.”  

·      Error Code 412 -Client Error – Your screen gets annoyed and notes “ You really botched it up this time”….. “Check. “I Know” or “What Else is New?” or “It’s a new computer, please give me one more chance while I call Tech Support”.

·      Error Code 506 – Your screen informs you that “Something happened, but it’s a secret.”

·      Error Code 507 – Your screen informs you that your “Task failed successfully.”

·      Error Code 508 – Your screen informs you that “An error occurred while displaying the previous error.”

·      Error Code 509 – Your screen informs you “Sorry, I have to ask you to use a different browser.” Or it reads, "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"

·      Error Code 420+520 – Error, Error, The Compound Error …….Two wrongs definitely not making a right, they will just result in taking a longer time to get back to where you started. 

·      Error Code Infinity – Computer begins to emit smoke. Screen reads, “This Is Worse Than Bad.  Oy gevalt, we didn't realize there was a scale.”

·      Error Code 515 – Screen suggests “User Error, Replace User”

·      Error Code 911 – Your screen cheerfully informs, “Proceeding with the operation. “Delete” will erase the contents of your hard drive. Proceed or delete?”

“We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies - it is the first law of nature “ Voltaire 

 We know that the use technology regularly involves a Sisyphean battle with that computer/smart phone (“smart phone”, now there is an oxymoron) computer, which is always trying to get the upper hand over you and show you who is in charge. Research conducted by Morten Hertzum and Kasper Hornbæk from the Universities of Roskilde and Copenhagen in Denmark asked users to report each instance in which the computer provoked feelings of frustration, and the logged frustration episodes amount to an amazing 11% of users’ computing time. As a public service (similar to Berners-Lee making the WWW free), we have developed a mantra for you to repeat while your processor is taking an inordinate amount of time processing or telling you that it is not in the mood to process at this time. Do the following: while staring at the screen or error message, touch your left index finger to your left thumb and your right index finger to your right thumb and chant “exasperation, annoyance, anger, vexation, irritation, disappointment, dissatisfaction, discontent, and aggravation as I sit here at this station”. You can try it while gritting your teeth. Don’t you feel better? If not, it is Error Code 400/500 Client/Server Error…..Solution Not Found. 

 

 

Sources:

https://umbraco.com/knowledge-base/http-status-codes/

 Spencer Kimball

** Cyril Connelly

(https://developer.apple.com/library/archive/documentation/AppleScript/Conceptual/AppleScriptLangGuide/reference/ASLR_error_codes.html

 

https://www.pingdom.com/blog/the-5-most-common-http-errors-according-to-google/

 

https://www.hongkiat.com/blog/40-funny-error-messages-youve-never-seen-before/

 

Photo. https://www.throughthewoodstherapy.com/frustration/